3-18-13 Raw results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the March 18, 2013 episode of Raw

The show starts with John Cena coming to the ring. He says there’re both fans of him & Rock in the crowed. The fans have 20 days left to pick a side. Since he stands in the middle of a soled out house divided, he has a message for all The Rock fans. Rock’s time is up Cena’s time is now. All he has is right now. Starting with the rumble there’s been a title wave momentum for him. For those who haven’t given up he won’t make the same mistake that he made last year in promising to win but he is ready for WrestleMania. Then out come the Primetime Players. Titus has an Afro wig and is dressed like The Rock. Titus says Cena’s not the only 1 ready for Mania. They’re ready too. Titus says he is “Rufus Pancake Patterson”. Cena says they’re in Pittsburgh, who are known for the Steelers and Penguins. There’re also some good doctors who deal with people who have multiple personalities. Titus says this city needs the Primetime Players. Darren says the put the E in WWE. They do the millions of dollars bit and Titus “hurts” his hip. Cena says he’s days away from Mania with his match against Rock. Titus says the fans don’t want to see Cena. They want to see the Primetime Players. Then Titus mentions how everyone says Darren looks like Cena. Then he says Darren should be on a cocoa pebble box. Titus continues to mock The Rock. He says that Darren has no problem tearing Cena limb from limb. Darren says that Cena will be crying just like last year. Cena tells them to get in the ring with him right now and he will show them what it means to be ready for the main event at WrestleMania. Darren gets in the ring and the match is on. This was terrible! Cena has a rematch against The Rock at WrestleMania and it’s for the WWE Title this year and they have Titus O’Neil in an Afro wig mimicking The Rock? What are they thinking in WWE!? This was really idiotic!

John Cena vs. Darren Young. Cena gets the pin. This was a meaningless squash.

Time for a look back at The Shield laying out Ryback and then Mark Henry giving Ryback 3 world’s strongest slams.

Ryback vs. David Otunga. Ryback gets the pin. This was also a meaningless squash.

Then Ryback says at WrestleMania he Orton & Sheamus will tear The Shield apart. As far as Mark Henry’s concerned, they will cross again. When that time comes everyone knows it will be feeding time. “Feed me more.” Then out comes Mark Henry. Then Vickie Guerrero & Teddy Long come out. Long tells Henry not to take another step towards the ring right now. Vickie takes Ryback out of the 6 man tag for Mania. If Ryback wants to be at Mania he will face Mark Henry. Then Ryback gives Otunga a second marching muscle buster and tells Henry, “This is you.” This was decent.

Fandango comes out. Will he make his “premiere” tonight? Not likely. Wait a minute, he actually dances his way into the ring. Then out come Great Khali & Natalya. Fandango gets the mic and tells Khali it’s obvious that Khali’s too stupid to say his name right, so he will let the Canadian slice of Heaven Natalya give it a try. He flirts with her and tells her not to be afraid of his masculinity. Then she starts to say his name and then she says go get him Khali. Then Fandango walks up the ramp. Tonight was the night that we almost got to see the debut of……Faaaandaaango. (The fans chant you can’t wrestle. I’m not sure who they were chanting that at). This is beyond idiotic! Can they have Fandango be in a match please? This time he gets in the ring just to walk out and complain about his name being “mispronounced”?  

R-Truth comes to the ring for his match with Damien Sandow. Then Sandow comes out. He says rather than love than money than fame give me truth. That poet is rolling over in his grave right now because of R-Truth and that the R stands for repugnant. You’re Welcome. Truth says he has some poetry. “Your beard is weird and you talk a lot. I got 4 sweet words for you. You gonna get got. You’re Welcome” This was lame.

R-Truth vs. Damien Sandow. Truth wins by count out when Sandow walks out. This was match was also pointless.

Cody Rhodes is backstage with the Bellas. They love his mustache. Then Kaitlyn comes by and she tells Cody she has a thing later so they can’t hang out. Then she tells the Bellas they can have his mustache and Cody can have theirs. This was idiotic too.

The Undertaker comes to the ring. He says Punk sealed his fate last week when he made this personal. Taker will hurt him bad at Mania. Punk has 1 chance to save his own soul. Taker wants the urn back. Then Punk show’s up on the Tron talking like Paul Bearer. Paul wants Taker to know his death was professional loss as well as a personal one. If Taker is disqualified or counted out he loses. Taker is the best in the world at WrestleMania but he’s never met someone like Punk (Actually they have faced each other before). Taker answers to a higher power, but Punk is a higher power. Punk’s the guy who can snap Taker’s streak. Punk’s willing to walk through hell to see what sort of pain Taker inflicts on him. Punk is the guy who will end the streak. He is the 1. 20-1. The lid of the urn falls off as he’s tossing it and he says no disrespect intended. I felt uncomfortable with this. Why do they feel the need to have Bill Moody’s passing in this angle? That’s really in bad taste.

WWE Tag Team Champions Kane & Daniel Bryan vs. Primo & Epico. Kane & Daniel win when Kane pins Primo. Kane is about to choke slam 1 of them and then AJ’s music hits and she skips around the ring. Then Kane got the pin anyway. Then AJ skips to the back.  This was ok but why have AJ come out and skip around the ring? Also the “someone’s music plays and that distracts the guy” bit is stupid.

Backstage Josh Mathews asks Chris Jericho for his thoughts on tonight’s match. Jericho says he’s been IC Champion 9 times and will make it 10 tonight. They’re on the way to show case of Immortals. Then in comes Fandango. Jericho asks if he has something to say, he never caught his name. “Faaaandaango.” Jericho says a bunch of words that have “Fan” in front of them. Curtis tells Christopher he will learn to pronounce his name properly. Then Fandango walks out and Jericho says that he hasn’t gotten his tickets for Dead Man Down. This was stupid too! Why have Jericho cut a Cena like promo? There hasn’t been anything good on this show tonight!!

They show Jack Swagger clipping Del Rio’s knee on from Main Event during Del Rio’s match with Big Show. Del Rio was counted out after Swagger clipped his knee.  

World Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Cody Rhodes. Del Rio wins by submission. This was a good match. Then Jack Swagger comes in and beats on Del Rio. Ricardo jumps on Swagger’s back but Jack throws him off & out of the ring. Then Del Rio & Swagger brawl to the floor. Del Rio sends Swagger into the ring barrier. Then Del Rio grabs Coulter but then Swagger gets Del Rio from behind and throws Del Rio into the steel steps. Then he throws Del Rio over the announce table and shouts, “Welcome to Jack Swagger’s America.” Then Swagger applies the Ankle lock on Ricardo. Ricardo screams in pain and gets looked at. This was a good way to get heel heat on Swagger. Both the match and the post match attack were first good parts of this show. Let’s hope it stays that way.  

They show what happened during the break. Ricardo is placed on a stretcher.

Time to find out who the next 2013 Hall of Fame inductee will be. It’s Booker T. That was a nice surprise. They show a Hall of Fame video package for him.

Randy Orton & Sheamus vs. Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre. Orton & Sheamus win Orton pins Slater. Orton & Sheamus dominated the whole match.

Then The Shield comes out the crowed. They stand outside the ring. Then Big Show’s music hits and he comes to the ring to stand with Orton & Sheamus. The Shield attempts to get in the ring but are stopped. Then The Shield hops the rail & head out through the crowed. Big Show points to the WrestleMania sign and walks out. This was good.

Time for a look at the G.I. Joe movie that The Rock is in.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph gets the pin. This was a solid match. Kofi was on the top rope and then AJ got on the apron & distracted the referee. Dolph rolled outside the ring. Kofi dove to the outside but Langston hit him. Then Dolph got Kofi back in the ring & hit the Zig Zag for the pin.

Then Kane’s pyro goes off and he & Daniel Bryan come out. Daniel congratulates Dolph for being the only guy to manage to get him & Kane on the same page. Kane says we’ve all seen what Langston can do outside the ring. How about we see what he can do in the ring. Kane suggests that he & Daniel face Dolph & Big E. AJ says that Ziggy & Big E accept if they put the tag titles on the line at WrestleMania. Daniel says let me think about that and than shouts yes a few times. This was decent too.

Time for a video package on The Rock- John Cena match.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett for the Title. Barrett wins when he pins Miz. This was a really good match. Miz gave Jericho the Skull Crushing Finale and then Barrett rolled up Miz and got the pin.

Time for a look at the premiere of The Call.

Now it’s time for some fans’ TOUTS saying what the stipulation for the HHH-Lesnar match at WrestleMania should be.

Time for the HHH-Lesnar contract signing. Out comes Triple H. Then Paul Heyman comes out with security. HHH thought Lesnar would’ve been the kind of guy to look him in the eye. Heyman says Brock is fearless. Heyman says HHH has 2 choices. He can disappoint the fans or he can sign to face Lesnar at WrestleMania and not know what the stipulations are. Heyman thinks HHH doesn’t know what to do yet. He thinks HHH is frustrated. HHH says Heyman spared no expense. Heyman says Lesnar has signed the agreement for Mania. If HHH signs it too then Heyman will tell him the stipulations he & Brock picked for him. HHH says Heyman forgot 1 part. He doesn’t care what the stipulations are and wants to sign it. Heyman says he & Brock have spent hours watching 1 piece of footage over again. He’s sure HHH is familiar with this footage. They show the awesome HHH-Lesnar brawl from 3 weeks ago. Heyman says this is as big as it gets. Heyman says he knows how to top that. Heyman says that for the match HHH will be blindfolded. Then he says that won’t happen because Lesnar wants HHH to look into the face of the guy who will be beating him, so HHH will have his hands cuffed & his legs shackled. That isn’t happening because Brock wants to beat HHH fair and square. Heyman says Lesnar lets him pick the stipulation. The winner gets Stephanie. That wouldn’t work because it would be more fitting if the loser got Stephanie. Then HHH grabs Heyman. The security guards try to pull HHH back but he fights them off. Then HHH grabs Heyman and throws him face first into the table. Then HHH says since he knows Brock’s not coming out till he signs the contract, how about Hunter takes his time & enjoys this. HHH continues beating on Heyman as Heyman shouts for Brock. Then HHH puts the contract on Heyman’s chest and says you wanna make it official here we go. HHH signs the contract and tells Heyman to go get his monster. HHH then kicks Heyman out of the ring. Out comes Brock Lesnar with a steel chair. HHH takes out a sledgehammer. HHH dares Brock to get in the ring but Brock backs off. Then Brock goes to get in the ring but Heyman stops him and says they’ve won this round and HHH has signed his own death warrant. Lesnar & Heyman head up the ramp to the stage. Then Heyman says Brock’s the toughest guy but the beating HHH gave Heyman made HHH sign the contract. At WrestleMania it will be no DQ, no count out and no stopping the match for anything. The match will be No Holds Barred. Heyman then says when HHH faces Lesnar the added stipulation they picked is that Triple H’s career is on the line. Heyman says game over. Lesnar has a grin on his face with the contract in his hand to end the show. This was awesome! Heyman was great on the mic as always & he took a beating from HHH. They did a great job here. I liked how Heyman said that he goaded HHH into signing the contract & Heyman saying it will be no DQ, no count out and no stopping the match for anything. The match will No Holds Barred with Triple H’s career on the line makes sense to me. This should be a really enjoyable match at WrestleMania.

I thought this was a 50-50 show overall. The first half was dreadful but it got better after the Del Rio-Cody match. The Cena-Primetime Players segment was terrible and the Cena-Darren match was a meaningless squash. Ryback-Otunga was a meaningless squash too but the post match bit with Ryback, Henry; Vickie & Long to set up the Ryback-Henry match at WrestleMania was decent. The end of the show really awesome! They did a great in continuing the build for the Triple H-Brock Lesnar match. I am kind of curious if Triple H will lose since he is an executive in WWE now. I’m guessing Triple H will win but we’ll see. The Fandango bit with Khali & Natalya was lame. I really wish they’d have this guy in a match already. Truth-Sandow was also pointless. Orton & Sheamus vs. Drew & Heath was mostly a squash too. I was really uncomfortable with the Taker-Punk segment. Using Bill Moody’s passing in the storyline is in bad taste. The Shield coming out and then having Big Show come out to even the odds was good. Kane & Daniel vs. Primo & Epico was another meaningless match. Kofi-Dolph was solid and I was ok with Kane & Daniel coming out & setting up their match with Big E & Dolph at WrestleMania. Jericho’s backstage promo with Fandango was idiotic but the 3 way IC Title match was really good. Del Rio-Cody was good too and I liked the Jack Swagger post match attack on Del Rio & Ricardo. This was a really good way to get heel heat on Swagger. I also liked the Booker T video package and he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. On the whole I thought this week’s show started out awful but it got better as it went on.