3-29-13 Smackdown results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the March 29, 2013 episode of Smackdown

 The show starts with The Rock coming to the ring and he has a Hershey’s chocolate bar. He says that about a month ago on Raw he did a little thing called story time with The Rock. He figures story time should continue. He talked about being 15 and buying his first car from crack head (I remember that one) in down town Nashville. He thought it should continue now because at 15 Rock moved with his family from Nashville to a little town about an hour away from Hershey (where Smackdown is tonight), Bethlehem, PA. Rock was no ordinary 15 year old. He was 6’4 220 lbs & was rocking a very creepy mustache for some reason. Then he asks the fans if they wanna see a pic of him at 15. They cheer. He asks if they’re sure. The fans cheer again. Rock tells the guys in the truck to “Show the magic.” They show a pic of him at 15 on the Tron. He says he was Captain White shorts. Half black, half Samoan yet he some how looked like a bouncer from menudo (whatever that means). He tells the guys in the truck to take the pic off the screen. Then he says that one of the great benefits of living in Bethlehem, PA meant that he was about an hour away from a very special town. A town that he & his friends would come to on the weekend and they would go to a certain park. They’d ride some rides & he would eat much chocolate as he could. Every time he & friends used to go back to this town it was a magical feeling. This is why every time now when he comes back as a grown man that magical feeling takes him back to that time and this why he proudly stands in the ring and says, “Finally The Rock has come back to Hershey.” Rock loves coming to Hershey. He remembers one Saturday night he came to Hershey road rides and did everything he could, but there was one thing that he wanted. A Hershey’s Watchmacallit (Is this leading to something?) and he couldn’t get it. He went to different places & couldn’t find it. His friends were annoyed with him about it because they were teens and should’ve been getting beer (This promo is really meaningless) but Rock said, “We don’t drink beer.” Actually he might not have said that part. He said the only thing that he wanted was a whatchamacallit and then finally he found it (Yay) but before he grabbed it someone came by & grabbed it before he could (Boo). But something really special happened that night. Something historic happened that night because he said to that person that would change the course of history in WWE forever. He looked at that person & said to whoever it was, “If you don’t put down that candy I’m gonna kick your candy ass” (I knew that’s what he was getting at). Just like that the old lady put that candy down and got out of that store. The bottom line is that kicking your candy ass started right there in Hershey, PA. (Wow that was a lot of talk for how that saying came to be). He then says that a man will go to great lengths to get what he wants and that means getting his chocolate but it also means beating Cena at WrestleMania. Monday on Raw Cena got in his face & he kicked his candy ass. He knows that at WrestleMania Cena will come back with more passion & more fire than he’s ever had in his life but Rock will keep kicking his candy ass. Cena will step up to him with his jean shorts and his fruity pebbles but Rock will be kicking his candy ass. Not only will Rock do that on front of world at WrestleMania but he will do it in front of the millions…Then Johnny Ace’s music plays & he makes his return. Then they go to commercial break (This segment is going on so long that they needed to take a commercial break). Before I continue that whole first part of Rock’s promo was totally meaningless. Why was he spending all that time talking about how the phrase candy ass started before he got talking about his match at WrestleMania with Cena? He should have just been talking about what happened on Raw and what will happen at WrestleMania. If he wanted to plug the town he could have just done that for the fans in the arena. That didn’t need to be part of the show!

Back to the show & Johnny Ace is in the ring with Rock. Rock asks who in the blue hell Johnny is. Johnny asks if that’s a trick question. He says that Rock knows who he is. Everybody in WWE and the fans know who he is. His name is Johnny Ace (That’s what I’m calling him) & he is the former Executive VP of talent relations and the former GM for both Raw & Smackdown (and he’s still the king of boring). Rock says that Johnny has him confused with somebody who gives a crap (Does anybody really?). Johnny interrupted story time with The Rock (Not that that was any good either). Johnny says that his former adversary Teddy Long gave him permission to come out & talk to The Rock. He’ sure that Long & the fans think he came out there, talk too long (This whole segment is going on too long already) & end up getting Rock Bottomed. Johnny says that won’t happen because Rock & Johnny are a lot alike. Rock is the people’s champion & he created people power. He was the greatest GM WWE has ever seen till that was ruined by 1 man named John Cena. Cena’s the reason Ace was fired and Cena is also the reason that he is back. Rock tells Ace that if he doesn’t get to his point (Just like Rock didn’t get to hi right away) Cena will also be the reason Ace gets his Monkey ass kicked all over this arena. Ace says that his point is that at WrestleMania Cena will do whatever he has to to beat Rock. Johnny knows that & Rock knows that. Johnny has a business proposition for Rock. They’re both business men and Ace suggests that “Big Johnny” be in Rock’s corner. The fans might not like it but does Rock wanna be popular (He’s been popular for 15 years) or does he wanna win? Johnny says that Rock knows winning is everything at any cost. This is why with Johnny in Rock’s corner there is no way and Big Johnny says no way Cena will beat Rock at WrestleMania. With Ace in Rock’s corner he can guarantee Rock’s victory. They’re 2 great tastes that taste great together (That was corny). Rock says that since he is the people’s champion & Ace invented people power Rock thinks it’s only fitting that they involve the people. Then Rock asks the fans if they would like to see this stale old indigestible stick to the roof of your mouth till you wanna vomit piece of peanut butter team up with the most electrifying piece of chocolate the world has ever seen. Of course the fans boo. Rock says that it seems like the people have spoken. Then Rock says that he is a business man just like Ace & Rock has a business proposition for him. It’s not a Rock Bottom. How about Rock & Ace together send Cena a message. “Together like a peanut buttercup.” Ace likes that & asks Rock what he has in mind. Rock says that most important thing in a business deal is a handshake. They shake hands but Rock holds on & grips Ace’s hand and then gives him a spine buster. Then Rock gives him the people’s elbow. Then Rock says that at WrestleMania Cena’s candy ass is going down again. “If ya smeeeeeeell what The Rock is cookin’!” This was really long and really painful!

Chris Jericho vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett. Jericho gets the pin. This was a solid match. Miz was on commentary. He & Wade had words. Then Barrett got in the ring & Jericho gave him a code breaker for the pin. Afterwards Miz walks to the back. Then Jericho says he’d love to savor this win with every Jericholic in the arena but it looks like the guy he will face at WrestleMania is about to make his entrance and he still can’t say his name right but he’s gonna try again. Jericho calls him Fan ding bat, Danny DeVito and other words that have “Fan” in them. Then out come Fandango & his chick. They dance on the stage and then Fandango heads to the ring. Jericho invites him in but Fandango & the chick go back up the ramp and do their shtick. This was kinda weak.

Time for a video package recapping the Triple H-Brock Lesnar angle.

They show an earlier in the day interview that Josh Mathews conducted with Paul Heyman. Josh says on Raw HHH addressed the fans. Heyman’s here because Brock wants it on the record they placed HHH in. It’s a must lose situation for HHH. Heyman says that when they added the stipulation that Triple H’s career will be on the line they weren’t just talking about his career as a wrestler but also as the COO. Heyman then says Brock will crush HHH at Mania and then HHH has to sit behind a desk and watch as 2 guys enter a ring and compete and he no longer can because that option was taken from him. HHH will end up resenting the whole locker room. How can HHH lead the talent when he envies them? Eventually they’ll all rise against HHH. HHH thought he could compete with Heyman intellectually but HHH is no match for him. HHH also thought that he could physically compete with Brock but HHH is no match for Brock Lesnar. This was a good promo from Heyman.   

Booker T & Teddy Long are on the stage. Booker says they’re less than 2 weeks away from Mania. Tonight before their Mania match 2 guys will prove who is the strongest. He Ryback. Then Long brings Mark Henry. Booker says if they violate his no contact clause they’ll be banned from Mania. Long says they flipped a coin backstage to see who would go first. Henry starts. He gets on the bench & Booker says the world’s record is 51 reps. Then Henry lifts the weights 53 times. Booker tells Ryback the floor is his. Ryback gets on the bench and lifts the weights 53 times. He was going for number 54 but Henry chokes Ryback with the barbell. Medics check on Ryback & Henry says that he never put his hands on him.

WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan & Divas Champion Kaitlyn vs. Dolph Ziggler & AJ Lee. Daniel & Kaitlyn win Kaitlyn pins AJ. This was short but solid.

Time for a Shield promo. Ambrose says WrestleMania is upon us. Rollins calls it the showcase of immortals. Ambrose says that all of the clichés have been heard and that Orton, Sheamus & Big Show came up with the biggest cliché when they said they could put their differences aside to face the common enemy Reigns says they’ll choke on their clichés at Mania. Rollins says that the strength of their purpose is bigger than any of their opponents and that Orton, Sheamus & Big Show don’t stand a chance against The Shield. Reigns says the team will be lucky if it doesn’t implode before Mania. Ambrose says that a viper, a warrior & a giant will not mix. Then Ambrose says that Orton, Sheamus & Show think they can play nice together but this is not a game. This is a story about justice & the final chapter will be written at WrestleMania. Then Reigns says at WrestleMania they will believe. Rollins says believe in The Shield. This was a good promo.

Great Khali, Natalya & Hornswoggle are in the ring. Then out come Jack Swagger & Zeb Coulter. Swagger says what’s in the ring right now is everything wrong with this country. Zeb says he’s reminded of that every time he makes a service call and the person sounds like Khali. When Swagger broke Ricardo’s ankle he broke a bone to bind a country.

Great Khali vs. Jack Swagger. The match goes to a double count out when Swagger locks Khali in the ankle lock on the floor. Then Hornswoggle grabs Swagger’s leg but Swagger no sells. Hornswoggle looks to retreat but Zeb prevents him. Jack & Zeb surround Hornswoggle and then Swagger throws him into the ring barrier. Then Ricardo comes out on a crutch. He asks Swagger who he thinks he’s messing with. Swagger already attacked Ricardo twice. How about Swagger makes a third and takes out Ricardo’s other leg? Ricardo walks down the ramp and as Swagger watches Del Rio sneaks in from behind (No surprise there) and beats on Swagger for a bit. Then Del Rio locks him in the cross arm breaker. Zeb grabs Del Rio’s face and gets Swagger out of that and then Ricardo hits Zeb in the back with the crutch. Then Ricardo tosses the crutch to Del Rio. He swings twice at Swagger but Swagger ducks both shots & rolls out of the ring. He & Zeb head up the ramp as Del Rio screams for Swagger to get back in the ring. The match wasn’t much but I liked that Del Rio & Ricardo finally got one over on Swagger & Zeb.

Time for a look back at the Taker-Punk bit from Monday.

Backstage some new chick named Renee Young interviews Orton, Sheamus & Big Show. She says that a lot of people figured that they would all join together as a team. Time for a look back at this past Monday’s Raw to see how this alliance was officially formed. Then Renee mentions that they have a match at WrestleMania with The Shield. Then she asks how they have been functioning as a group. Orton says they’re doing well; they have a common enemy so nothing else really matters. Then Renee asks if it’s safe to say that Sheamus & Big Show have set aside their differences. Sheamus says absolutely. From now till WrestleMania Big Show knows that he has to be part of this team. So as far as Sheamus is concerned they won’t have any problems. Big Show says that he wasn’t the guy that had the problems in the first place. Sheamus is the guy with the issues. Sheamus says that in fairness the only reason that he had an issue was because he wasn’t sure if he & Orton could trust Big Show. Big Show asks if it’s his problem that Sheamus has issues. Sheamus then says that it kind of is. Then Orton says they gotta focus. They gotta focus tonight because they have a match. Orton asks if they’re good. Sheamus says they’re good. Orton says they’re all on the same page and that’s really bad news for their opponents tonight but even worse news for The Shield. This was decent.

Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes & Antonio Cesaro come out for their match with Orton, Sheamus & Big Show. Sandow says that unlike this dysfunctional & motley crew they are about to face he, Cody & Cesaro are the quintessential 6 man team. Not only do they have superior intelligence but they all share a mutual distain for ignorance. Cody says that unlike them their opponents have nothing in common. Except that they are common and the 3 of them. The instruments of their downfall. Sandow wants silence. Then Cesaro yodels and then Sandow says, “You’re welcome.”

Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show vs. Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes & U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro. Orton, Sheamus & Big Show win when Sheamus pins Cody. The faces dominated the lower level heels mostly here. Too bad Sandow, Cody & Cesaro have been pushed down to lower mid card level. Then The Shield’s music plays & they come out through the crowd. Then Orton, Sheamus & Big Show hop over the guard rail & go after The Shield. They brawl in the crowd & up the stairs to the upper level. Then The Shield heads out the door as Orton, Sheamus & Big Show pose in the upper decks while Orton’s music plays to end the show. This was good. I like that they had Orton, Sheamus & Big Show come to The Shield & the brawl in the upper decks was really entertaining.

I thought this was a mixed bag show on the whole. The Rock-Johnny Ace segment was way too long and totally meaningless. The 6 man tag was good & I liked the brawl in the crowed at the end. Jericho-Barrett was solid too. I was ok with the Miz-Barrett stare down but the Jericho-Fandango bit after that match was weak. I liked the Paul Heyman promo too. He was his usual awesome self. The Shield promo was good too and the Orton-Sheamus-Big Show promo was decent too. Khali-Swagger wasn’t much but I was fine with Del Rio & Ricardo getting the better of Swagger & Zeb. The mixed tag was short but decent. I was ok with the Ryback-Mark Henry bench press challenge too & it made sense for Henry to choke Ryback with the weights since he’s a heel. It was impressive to see these guys lift that much. I wasn’t really a fan of Booker & Long though. It looks like they might turn Long heel since he & Booker have had their disagreements the last few weeks. So overall I thought this was a hit & miss show.

3-28-13 Impact results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the March 28, 2013 episode of Impact

The show starts with Jeff Hardy coming to the ring. He says last week he wasn’t 100 % and he isn’t tonight either but he is better. He tested himself against Joe, Magnus & Angle and he is now the number 1 contender. With that said it’s open fight night and he’s gotta call somebody out. Out come Aces & 8s. Ray says everybody in the arena needs to shut their mouths. Ray’s tired of hearing Jeff’s voice and tired of listening to him moan. Does Jeff know who they are? Ray tells Jeff they’re Aces & 8s. Ray asks if Jeff was gonna call him out. Ray wouldn’t wanna see anything bad happen to Jeff in front of his moron creatures. Anderson asks Ray if Jeff’s getting another second chance. Jeff gets chance after chance. Anderson says they never got free passes because they don’t need second chances. Ken says Jeff is a big disappointment. Jeff was a disappointment when he lost to Ray and he will be a disappointment in Corpus Christi. Then Jeff punches Anderson & knocks him off the apron but the rest of Aces & 8s get Jeff. They hold Jeff and Ray swings his chain and then out come the Joe, Angle, Magnus & Eric Young. Aces & 8s bail & Jeff calls out Ken Anderson. This was a good way to start the show. Ray was tremendous on the mic as usual and I thought Anderson was good too.

Backstage Chavo tells Hernandez wonder how they lost. Hernandez mentions that Hulk told him there’s a lot riding on tonight. Chavo tells him not worry because they had tonight’s open fight night.

Hernandez & Chavo come to the ring. Back to the show & Chavo says if you saw last week you know he & Hernandez were cheated out of the tag titles. Not by Aries & Roode, but by another team. It’s cool because tonight is about payback. Tonight is open fight night. They talked with Hulk & there’s a stipulation for tonight’s match. The winners will challenge for the tag titles. Chavo calls out Daniels & Kazarian. Daniels & Kazarian come to the ring & Kaz has his Kazamania t-shirt.

Hernandez & Chavo Guerrero vs. Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian. Hernandez & Chavo win when Chavo pins Daniels. This was a good match but I was hoping Daniels & Kazarian would win.

Taryn Terrell peaks out of the knockout’s locker room and tells camera guy that she’s excited about making her debut as a knockout wrestler. She has a pretty good idea who she will call out and what she will wear.

Time for a look back at last week when Brooke Hogan made Taryn a wrestler.

Taryn Terrell comes to the ring. She’s so excited for her first official night as a knockout. Brooke said she can get physical with whoever she wants. There’s been 1 woman who cost her her job as a referee. She calls out Gail Kim. Gail’s music plays but she doesn’t come out right away. Taryn says she knows Gail’s not scared of little old her. Then Gail comes out. She gets the mic and then gets in the ring. She says Taryn made a rookie mistake calling her out. Gail’s the greatest knockout ever. Does Taryn really wanna embarrass herself on national TV? Then Gail says that Taryn has rubbed another knockout the wrong way. Someone who was going to call Taryn out. Gail brings out Tara & Jessie. Then Gail hits Taryn from behind and then Tara gets in the ring for the double team. Then Velvet Sky comes out to even the odds. Gail & Tara bail & Velvet & Taryn ask them if they want a piece. This was decent. It looks like they’re setting up Velvet & Taryn vs. Gail & Tara.

Velvet & Taryn are backstage. Velvet says Taryn’s been abused long enough. Then Taryn sees Gail & Tara & goes after them but Velvet pulls her away.

Time for a video package on the Gut Check.

Backstage JB says gut check returns next week. The match next week will be Magno vs. Adam Pierce. He wishes both of them luck as they have a stare down.

Sting is looking to get into Hulk’s office but an Atlas guy is standing there and won’t let him in. Sting says that he is going to need to try a different approach because he is going to get to that place. This was corny.

Hulk Hogan tells Jeff Hardy that he booked a Jeff-Ray rematch for April 11. Hulk tells Jeff the title rematch was already a given for him but he decided to earn it in a 4 way. Hulk says Jeff has a chance to right Hulk’s wrong. Jeff lives for the future and he will take the title back. Hulk tells Jeff to make the stipulation for that match. Then Sting’s music plays and Hulk says he’s not supposed to be here. This was hokey.

Sting comes to the ring. He says Bully Ray swerved him & the whole world. Sting told Hulk he can trust Ray but he was wrong. Now he needs to fix this problem but to do that he has to talk with Hulk, which he hasn’t managed to do all week. So Sting calls out Hulk. Cue Hulk’s music & out he comes. Sting says he’s tried to apologize to Hulk twice and now he’s gonna try a third time. If Hulk doesn’t accept things could get nuclear. Hulk knew from day 1 Ray was rotten to the core and he should have listened to his gut but Sting & Dixie told him Ray’s different. Hulk says because of Sting he didn’t listen to his gut and it’s Sting’s fault. Sting says most of the weight rest on Hulk’s shoulders because he’s the GM. Sting tells him to man up. Hulk says will take accountability for the mistakes that he made. Then he says that as GM he has the final decision and he made it. Now he’s tired of Sting getting in his face and he tells Sting to get out of his ring brother. Sting tells Hulk to make him. 2 security guys come in as Hulk rips his shirt. Hulk tells Sting it’s not over between them. Then security escorts Sting to the back. This was idiotic! Hulk stole TNA from Dixie 2 & ½ years ago and then Sting becomes GM. Then Sting tells Dixie to make Hulk GM and now because Sting told Hulk to trust Ray and then all of a sudden after Ray marries Brooke Hulk trusts him. Then Ray turned heel & this is all Sting’s fault? This storyline is typical Hogan nonsense.

They show Sting backstage from during the break. Matt Morgan shows up and says, “Yet another Hogan mistake.” Sting stops walking.

Time for a video package on AJ Styles & how he’s falling apart.

James Storm comes to the ring. He says 2 weeks ago AJ Styles made his big return. It wasn’t the return he was looking for. Then last week he tried to talk to AJ & AJ walked off. Since tonight’s open fight night Storm calls out AJ Styles. AJ is in the crowd. Storm knows what AJ is going through because he was in the same spot last year. He lost the big match & went home but he picked himself back up & that’s what AJ needs to do. They can either talk about it over a beer or fight about it. The choice is AJ’s. Then in come Doc, Wes & Garrett and they beat down Storm & AJ walks off. Then Eric Young comes in and he takes a beating too. Then out comes Kurt Angle to even the odds. Naturally when Angle comes out Aces & 8s retreat. Angle says he’s not done yet. He sees 3 of Aces & 8s and 3 TNA guys. Since it’s open fight night let’s have a 6 man tag. I thought this was decent.

Kurt Angle, James Storm & Eric Young vs. Doc, Wes Briscoe & Garrett Bischoff. Doc, Wes & Garrett win when Wes pins Angle. This was good. D’Lo came out & distracted Angle. Then Garrett got a chain but Ankle caught him with the ankle lock. Then Wes rolled up Angle for the pin.

Backstage Ray, Devon & Anderson toast Doc, Wes & Garrett to a job well done. Ray can’t believe the set on Jeff to call out Ken Anderson. He can’t believe the set of Hulk for letting Jeff pick the stipulation for the title rematch. Anderson says Jeff won’t make it Corpus Christi and then flips out, bashing a hammer. Ray & Devon love it. I thought this was decent too. Anderson was pretty good when he went crazy.

JB says in 8 days TNA will present the best of the X Division on PPV. Sonjay is there and JB tells him that he will have to beat Mason Andrews & Petey Williams in a qualifying match for an X Division Title match. That should be good.

Jeff Hardy vs. Ken Anderson. Anderson wins by DQ. Garrett came out and gave Anderson a hammer but Jeff got & hit Anderson with it leading to the DQ. Then he hits Garrett with the hammer and then he gets a chair from under the ring and hits Anderson in the back with it. Then Jeff sets the chair up on the stage, runs down the ramp and dives onto Anderson. Then Jeff gets a table and sets it up in the ring. Then he gets a ladder and sets that up in the corner. He picks up Anderson but Anderson knees Jeff in the gut. They were fighting over who would suplex who through the table but then Jeff gives Anderson the twist of fate. Then he lays Anderson on the table and climbs the ladder. He was going for a twist of fate but Ray comes in pulls Anderson out. Then Jeff says he has picked the stipulation for the title rematch. It will be full metal mayhem. This ends the show. This was a good match & the post match stuff was too.

I thought this was a solid show overall. I liked the opening segment and the Jeff-Anderson match was good too. I was also ok with Jeff’s post match attack on Anderson. It makes sense that he picked a TLC/full metal mayhem match. The Jeff-Hulk segment backstage was kind of weak & I wasn’t into the Sting-Hulk in ring segment. I was ok with Matt Morgan’s “Yet another Hogan mistake” line backstage though. Hernandez & Chavo vs. Daniels & Kazarian was also good but I wanted Daniels & Kazarian to win. It was cool to see Sonjay, Mason (Scorpio Sky) & Petey Williams backstage too. The James Storm promo was good too. AJ Styles just stood in the crowd while Storm talked. I thought the 6 man tag was good too. The Knockouts segments were ok too. Taryn being the insane chick works for her. The Ray-Devon-Anderson bit was good too. I liked seeing Anderson go crazy. On the whole I thought this was a solid show.

3-25-13 Raw results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the March 25, 2013 episode of Raw

The show starts with CM Punk & Paul Heyman coming to the ring. Heyman has the urn. Then he tosses it to Punk. Punk places the urn on the canvas and says that everyone says Taker’s undefeated Mania streak will never be broken. They say Taker’s unstoppable and that the urn feeds him power. “They” have a lot of opinions and “they” say a lot of stupid things. Punk asks the urn who are they anyway? Do they really know what they are talking about? Punk knows they don’t because everybody has opinions but his opinions are fact. He is the only 1 that matters. Last year Taker went 20-0. It’s a great legacy and it should’ve ended last year. But Taker ruined it all because he came out on Punk’s show and pointed as Punk’s sign. Now Taker’s story is being rewritten by a guy who happens to be the best in the world. The fans can boo Punk put Taker’s to blame. He didn’t take the urn to disrespect Paul Bearer. He took it because it means everything to Taker, but it doesn’t mean anything to him. He throws down the urn. The streak is Taker’s & Punk will break it. Punk has something that Taker wants & Taker is at a psychological disadvantage. If Taker returned and fought any other guy he would go to 21-0 and that Taker could have gone to 30-0 or even 50-0. Punk says there’s no one in the world that is better or smarter than he is. CM Punk is the 1 as in 20-1. He’s waiting for the lights to go out and hear the magic words rest in peace because rest is something he’s never been afforded and piece is something he’s never lived with. At Mania Taker’s streak will rest in peace. Then the gong goes off and the lights go out. When they come back on Taker’s in the ring and goes after Punk. Punk & Heyman eventually bail with the urn. Punk stands on the stage and Taker does the throat slash. Punk’s promo was really good and I liked Taker coming out but I feel really uncomfortable having Paul Bearer’s passing as the center of this feud.

 Fandango comes out to most likely not make his “debut.” He gets the mic and says his name but before he finishes Jericho’s pyro goes off and he storms to the ring and attacks Fandango. Fandango escapes & heads up the ramp to the back. Then out come Dolph, Big E & AJ. Dolph will face Jericho next. It looks they’re gonna have Jericho vs. Fandango at WrestleMania. 

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler. Jericho wins by submission. This was a solid match but Dolph lost again! Then Big E hits Jericho from behind and then gives him the big ending. Then Langston screams to Jericho, “It’s over for you!” As Dolph, Big E & AJ leave Fandango comes back out. He and his chick dance in the ring as Jericho lies on the mat. Then Fandango goes after Jericho. He shouts at Jericho to say his name. Jericho gives him a chop but then Fandango gives him a super kick. The fans give Fandango the you can’t wrestle chant. Then Fandango gives Jericho a top rope leg drop. Then he gets the mic, leans over Jericho and says, “It’s Faaaandannngooo.” This was ok. At least we finally got to see Fandango sort of in action. I’m hoping Jericho can get a good match out of Fandango at WrestleMania.

Backstage Matt Striker is with Sheamus. They show the end of Smackdown. Striker asks Sheamus if he & Orton have managed to bury the hatchet with Show. Sheamus says that when The Shield tucked their tails between their legs…then The Shield comes in & attacks Sheamus. Then Orton comes in and they beat him down too. Then Big Show comes by and he fights The Shield off. The Shield bails and then Big Show helps Orton up. This was good.

The Usos vs. Mark Henry. Henry gets the pin after the World’s strongest slam. The Usos got a bit of offense in but this was mostly a squash. Then Henry throws the other Uso in the ring and gives him a World’s strongest slams and shouts, “That’s what I do!” Then he picks up the other Uso and gives him a World’s strongest slam. Then he gives 1 of them a big splash. This was all about Mark Henry being a dominant monster and he did a good job here.

Ricardo comes out on crutches and a cast on his left foot. His legs might be weak but his voice is still strong. Then he does the usual introduction for Del Rio.

World Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro wins by count out. Jack Swagger comes out and throws Ricardo into the steel steps. Then he drags Ricardo by the time keeper area. Then Del Rio goes after Swagger and hits him a couple of times. Then Swagger escapes through the crowd. This led to Del Rio getting counted out. Afterwards Cesaro is posing on the turnbuckle but then Del Rio gets him & gives him the cross arm breaker. Then he checks on Ricardo. The match was a back drop for the Swagger attack but I thought they Del Rio-Swagger brawl was good. However, Cesaro was booked like a jobber despite technically winning the match. That said I thought they did a good job continuing the build for Del Rio-Swagger title match.  

WWE Tag Team Champions Kane & Daniel Bryan vs. The Primetime Players. Kane & Daniel win when Kane pins Darren. This was decent. Dolph, Big E & AJ watched from the stage. Afterwards the champs jaw jack with Dolph & Big E.

Time for a look back at the HHH-Lesnar contract signing from last Monday.

Triple H comes to the ring. He says for the first time he finds himself going into a WrestleMania match knowing that if he loses his wrestling career is over. If you go against Brock and think your career won’t be over than you have already lost. Brock’s a destroyer and a guy who can end your career at any moment. Hunter’s had a 20 year career and has fought every night like his life depended on it. If Heyman thinks he’s made this grand coup by backing him into a corner, he’s mistaken. HHH tells Brock to show up at Mania like his life depends on it because it very well might. HHH is coming to WrestleMania to kick Brock’s ass. Then out comes Wade Barrett. He & HHH have a stare down and then HHH kicks him low. The promo was good and short but did they have to have Wade Barrett get punked out by Triple H?

Back to the show & Wade Barrett is in the ring selling the kick from HHH. Then out comes The Miz.

The Miz vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett. Miz wins by submission. This was good but Barrett cleanly lost a non title match. It does look like they might be setting up a rematch for the title at WrestleMania though.

Kane & Daniel Bryan are backstage. Daniel needs Kane to be focused. Kane knows what he’s doing. Daniel says Kane knows what he’s doing against The Primetime Players but Dolph & Big E have she who will not be named. Then they bicker over who’s more pissed about being dumped by AJ. Then Kaitlyn comes in and tells them to move on. Daniel tells Kaitlyn AJ isn’t focusing on Kaitlyn’s Divas Title. She says she was AJ’s best friend. If the champs want to keep the tag titles at Mania they have to accept that this is the knew AJ. She is crazy. AJ was watching the whole time and then went after Kaitlyn. This was kind of weak.

Great Khali, Justin Gabriel & Zack Ryder vs. The Shield. The Shield win when Rollins pins Gabriel. Then Khali fights off The Shield but they get the upper hand and give Khali the triple power bomb. Then out comes Sheamus. Then Randy Orton. They head to the ring and Big Show comes from the other side of the ring and The Shield is surrounded. Orton, Sheamus & Show get in the ring & brawl pound on The Shield. Then The Shield retreats through the crowd. The match was a squash but I was cool with Orton, Sheamus & Big Show coming out & fighting off The Shield.

Chris Jericho comes out of Vickie’s office. Josh asks Jericho what they were discussing. Jericho says when you’ve accomplished as much as he has you become a target. Fandango has kicked his ass twice in a row but that doesn’t mean anything. Thanks to Vickie Jericho will face Fandango at WrestleMania. Jericho says now that the bulls eye is on Fandango’s forehead, Fandango will never be the same. This was a solid promo from Jericho.

Out come Rhodes Scholars. Sandow says Philly is a city that’s famous for greasy sandwiches and a stadium with a prison inside it. Tonight they have a gift for the fans. The Bella Twins.

Brodus Clay & Sweet T Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars. Rhodes Scholars win when Cody pins Brodus. This was short. Cameron & Naomi brawled with The Bellas. That distracted Brodus & allowed Cody to hit the beautiful disaster kick for the win.

Time for a clip from the G.I. Joe movie with comments from The Rock and others in this film.

Ryback vs. 3MB. Ryback wins when he pins Slater. Ryback gave Heath & Jinder a double marching muscle buster for the win. Just like The Usos-Mark Henry match, 3MB got a bit of offense in but this was mostly a squash.

They announce that Ryback & Mark Henry will be in a weightlifting competition on Smackdown.

Then they mention that Arnold Schwarzenegger will induct Bruno Sammartino into the Hall of Fame.

Divas Champion Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee. AJ wins by count out. This was short.

Michael Cole says Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show vs. The Shield is official for WrestleMania

Time for The Rock-John Cena Q & A panel. Jerry Lawler is in the ring. At Mania the Cena-Rock match will be historic but first they’ll make a bit of history tonight. At Mania they’ll answer who will be WWE Champion but tonight they’ll answer questions from WWE Hall of Famers and super stars. Out first is 2013 Hall of Fame inductee Booker T. Then another 2013 Hall of Fame inductee Mick Foley. Then class of 2007 Hall of Famer Dusty Rhodes comes out. Then out comes class of 2006 Hall of Famer Bret Hart.

Back to the show & Jerry Lawler brings out The Rock. Then John Cena. Lawler says the legends will ask Cena or Rock something and after they respond the other guy will have a chance to respond too. Mick Foley goes first. Almost 10 years ago he teamed with Rock at Mania 20. He asks Cena if he’s ready to deal with the fact that he might lose to Rock at Mania this year too. Cena says April 7 will be a historic day for WWE. Whether Cena wins or loses it will change WWE forever. If Cena wins he gets the belt and redemption. He mentions that he said losing wasn’t an option last year and then The Rock beat him. Cena knows that losing is an option. Cena then brings up Donovan McNabb and the fans boo. Statistically that guy’s the greatest quarterback to put on an Eagle’s uniform but listen to how the home town fans react to him. They boo because he couldn’t win the big one. The fans want to look to a guy who can win the big 1. If he loses he will carry the legacy of Donovan McNaab. He might be good but he will never be able to win the big one. That’s a big regret but he can handle failure, something that Rock doesn’t know of yet but he soon will. Rock says when he was 23 he was so broke he had to get his mattress out of a dumpster. A year later he got his big break in WWE and 6 months later he flopped. He tore his knee and went home. He could’ve quit but he didn’t. He came back at that time and said to just give him a mic. 2 years later he became the youngest champion and headlined WrestleMania. Then he says that he’s finally come back to Philly. Rock was riding high at that time. That night Rock got his ass kicked by Stone cold. He sat alone in that locker room thinking about that loss. He says that the guy that he became and is now will whip Cena’s ass in 13 days. Bret’s next. Bret says they’re both good friends to him but it pained him last year to watch them. It became like Bret & Michaels. What he & the fans want to know is what changed. Rock says 2 guys went at it last year looking to be the best. Rock beat Cena clean and Cena didn’t complain & Rock respects that. Cena started all this when he called Rock in an interview years ago. Rock came back to host Mania 27 and then beat him last year. Rock beat him in his home town. Then Rock proves that he will not stop till he is WWE Champion, which he is right now. Cena respects Rock and appreciates that Rock said Cena handled his loss with class and we’ll see how Rock handles losing. Next is Booker T. He says he’s the only guy on this panel who has been in the ring with both guys. He wants to know why Cena is gonna beat Rock at Mania? Cena says because he has to. Rock asks what kind of weak answer is that. Rock tells Cena to tell everyone why he thinks he has to beat Rock. Cena says Rock didn’t beat Cena, Cena beat himself. He comes out every week, some fans like him, some don’t and that’s ok. Every week for 10 years the fans have been 50-50 and Rock is the only guy that clouded his decision. Cena handled the best Rock had and then figured he could beat Rock in Rock’s hometown with Rock’s own finisher. This year he steps in the ring and does it his way on his terms. Cena knows he is better than The Rock and The Rock knows it too. Rock knows if Cena had him beat he would’ve beaten him but he didn’t. Rock talks about what happened at the end of their match last year. Rock says there’s 1 legend he wanted to be like. He had a saying. “To be the man whoooo you gotta beat the man.” Rock says Cena can’t beat the man because Cena’s not the man. Rock got the people’s elbow from Dusty’s bionic elbow. Rock says that Cena will never ever be the man. Dusty says Mania is about winning & losing. There’re no guarantees in this business. Sometimes you don’t always get what you want and sometimes what you want is not what you always get. Dusty asks what they really want. Cena wants to win the big 1 & dominate The Rock. He wants Rock to realize that Cena’s better than he is. He wants to hand Rock a loss so devastating that it will haunt him for the rest of his life. Rock says he’s not wired that way. The day after Mania Rock will still be champion and Cena will be eating Fruity Pebbles asking why he couldn’t beat The Rock. Rock says Cena can prove him wrong at Mania but how about Cena proves him wrong right now? Cena takes his shirt off and gets in Rock’s face. He does the you can’t see me gesture. Then Rock pushes him. Cena sets up Rock for the AA but Rock gets out of that and gives Cena the Rock Bottom. Rock heads up the ramp to the stage holding the title. Cena watches from the ring as Rock tells him to bring it. This ends the show. This was really good. I thought both Rock & Cena cut good promos here and really gave this match a lot of meaning. I really enjoyed hearing both guys saying why they need to win at WrestleMania. Plus it was cool to see Bret.

This show was easily better than last week’s and I thought it was a solid show overall. It also went longer than the last 2 shows. This went to 11:20. I really hope they don’t decide to make Raw 3 & ½ hours. That would really be too much. The Punk-Heyman promo/Taker attacking Punk at the start was solid but I feel really uncomfortable having Paul Bearer’s passing in this angle. The end was really good. I thought both Rock & Cena cut good promos. Del Rio-Cesaro was more of a back drop for the Swagger attack and the Del Rio-Swagger brawl and they did a good job continuing the build for the world title match. Both The Usos vs. Mark Henry & Ryback vs. 3MB were squashes. Kane & Daniel vs. The Primetime Players was decent. The backstage bit with Kane, Daniel, Kaitlyn & AJ was kind of weak I though. Kaitlyn-AJ was short. Brodus & Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars was also kind of short. I’m curious if they’ll have Brodus, Tensai, Cameron & Naomi vs. Rhodes Scholars & The Bellas on the youtube pre show. Jericho-Dolph was solid but Dolph lost cleanly again. I was ok with Fandango attacking Jericho afterwards since he finally did something besides complain about his name being “mispronounced.” I thought Jericho’s backstage prom later on was solid too. Let’s hope that Jericho vs. Fandango will be solid. I also liked the backstage brawl with Orton, Sheamus, Big Show & The Shield. Khali, Gabriel & Ryder vs. The Shield was a squash but I liked when Orton & Sheamus came out and then Big Show came out from the other side of the ring. I thought that brawl was solid too. Triple H’s promo was good and short but I wasn’t into him kicking Wade Barrett in the groin. The Miz-Wade Barrett match was good too and while I wasn’t a fan of Barrett cleanly losing a non title match it looks they might have Miz vs. Barrett at WrestleMania for the Intercontinental Title. On the whole I thought this was a solid show this week and easily better than last week’s.

3-22-13 Smackdown results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the March 22, 2013 episode of Smackdown

The show starts with The Miz, Randy Orton & Sheamus in the ring for the most must see talk show in WWE history (Miz’s words not mine) Miz TV. After he introduces his 2 guests he says that their world has been turned upside down. By orders of Teddy Long & Vickie Guerrero Ryback is no longer their partner at WrestleMania (That was a weak way to get Ryback out of the match by the way). So the question is who will be their new partner when they face The Shield at WrestleMania? Orton’s choice is the same guy who came to the ring Monday night on Raw and helped him & Sheamus when The Shield was about to pounce on them yet again. That man is the Big Show. Miz then asks Sheamus if that’s his choice too. Sheamus says that if Big Show hadn’t come out Monday then he & Orton probably would’ve gotten their “arses” handed to them by The Shield. As far as Big Show being their partner, he has discussed this with Orton. Sheamus doesn’t trust Big Show. Orton doesn’t trust him either but Orton doesn’t trust anybody. Sometimes you gotta do whatever it takes just to survive. The Shield has beaten everyone they have faced & Big Show needs Orton & Sheamus just as much as they need him. What Orton knows is that at WrestleMania he wants Big Show on his side. Miz says rather than talk about Big Show how about they bring him out. Out comes Big Show. Miz says he thinks that Big Show can agree with Sheamus’ issues of mistrust. Miz was Big Show’s tag team partner& the way Show ended that team was by knocking Miz out. Miz can’t speak for Orton & Sheamus but Miz trusts Show about as far as he can throw him. Big Show tells Miz that might mean something if Miz’s opinion actually mattered to him. Show tells Miz not to be confused by being out here with Orton & Sheamus. He’s dated women bigger than Miz & tells Miz to zip his lip. Big Show then says that as far as Orton & Sheamus are concerned he’s been able to do what they haven’t and that’s knocking out one of the members of The Shield. They don’t have to like each other. Big Show can’t stand either one of them personally but if they work together no one not even The Shield can stop them. Sheamus says it’s no secret that he & Big Show have been to war against each other. Big Show says that’s true. Sheamus says they’ve literally beaten the life out of each other in this ring. Sheamus says there’s no doubt that Big Show is 1 of the toughest opponents that he has ever faced. Big Show says, “Likewise with you.” Sheamus then says that Big Show is also 1 of the most devious. How does Sheamus know that when the going gets tough in there that Big Show isn’t gonna leave the 2 of them hanging? Sheamus doesn’t trust Big Show. Big Show says that if all he did was run then he wouldn’t have beaten Sheamus for the World Title. Orton then says they need to work together here & they need to get along. Then Miz says really a few times and says that Orton is the voice of reason of this group. What has this world come to? Sheamus says this is not gonna work. Show says this will work if Sheamus pulls his head out of his…Cue Booker T’s music & out he comes. Booker T needs to know if they can co exist. He needs to know of they can find a way to get along. We’ll find out because Big Show, Orton & Sheamus will team up in a 6 man tag main event tonight. This was the typical “Start Smackdown with a long promo and have Booker T set up a main event match” segment that starts the show. They hadn’t done that in a couple of weeks. Too bad they went back to it this week.

Zack Ryder vs. Mark Henry. Henry gets the pin. This was a squash. Then Henry gives Ryder to World’s strongest slams and then shouts at Ryder, “How many can you take?” Then Feed me more hits & Ryback comes to the ring. They have a stare down. Henry shouts that he calls the shot & Ryback is nothing. Then they get set to go at it & Ryback clotheslines Henry t the mat. Then Henry rolls out of the ring as Ryback & the fans say feed me more. Then Henry points to the WrestleMania sign as he heads up the ramp. This was decent.

Booker T is in the GM office. Teddy Long comes in & asks Booker if he is proud of him. Long says that he took it upon himself after consulting with Vickie & he made the Ryback-Mar Henry match for WrestleMania. Long asks Booker what he thinks about that. Booker likes the match but what he doesn’t like is the way Long handled his business. Booker tells Long that he works for him, not Vickie. Long says he thought he worked with Booker, not for him. This was lame.

Time for the Booker T Hall of Fame video package. This was well put together.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph gets the pin. This was a solid match but why have Dolph beat Kofi twice in the same week. AJ was also on commentary. Kofi dove onto Big E on the outside, and then Dolph gave Kofi the famasser. Then he rolled him back in the ring & hit the Zig Zag for the pin. Then Big E gives Kofi the Big End.

They reshow the Chris Jericho-Fandango bit from Monday.

Time for a look back at the awful Taker-Punk segment from Raw.

Orton, Sheamus & Big Show are arguing in the locker room. Sheamus says Big Show has to earn his trust and to follow his lead. Big Show flips and says he’s not standing on the apron. Big Show tells Sheamus to follow his lead. Sheamus asks if Big Show will be the brains of the operation. Big Show says he’s been doing this longer than Sheamus has. Then Orton says that if they don’t pull it together & get along this won’t work. They will be sitting ducks for The Shield. He tells them to think about it and then walks off.

They reshow Jack Swagger “breaking” Ricardo’s ankle from Monday.

Jack Swagger & Zeb Coulter are in the ring. Swagger welcomes his fellow Americans to Jack Swagger’s America. Then Zeb says that it’s a beautiful day in Jack Swagger’s America & what happened Monday on Raw to Ricardo was unfortunate but necessary. That’s nothing compared to what’s gonna happen to Alberto at WrestleMania. In Jack Swagger’s America if bones need to be broken bones will be broken. What Jack did to Ricardo should be a wake up call not only to Del Rio but to everyone who disagrees with what Jack & Zeb say. That includes Jack’s opponent for tonight, Chris Jericho. Then Swagger says, “We the People” a few times and then Jericho’s pyro goes off & he comes out.       

Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger. Swagger gets the pin when Fandango distracts Jericho. They did the “Fandango’s music playing and Jericho gets distracted” bit that WWE always likes to do. Zeb Coulter got on the apron and distracted the referee. Jericho was going for the Lion Sault but Fandango gave him a round house kick. Then Swagger hit the Vader bomb for the pin. The match was solid but Fandango being out there was weak. I’m not sure why WWE likes to do the “play some guy’s music and that distracts whoever’s in the match” bit. It looks they’ll be having Jericho-Fandango at WrestleMania. Man that’s quite a few levels down for Jericho from last year. Then Fandango gets in the ring & beats on Jericho for a bit. Then he gives him a top rope leg drop. Then Fandango gets the mic, leans over Jericho and says, “It’s Faaandaaango.” This character is so stupid. I can’t believe Jericho will be stuck facing this guy at WrestleMania.

Backstage Matt Striker interviews Big Show. Striker says that based upon what we’ve seen so far tonight it looks like it will be a challenge for him & his partners to get along. Big Show says that Orton is right. They have to get on the same page. Big Show’s had the crap kicked out of him by The Shield. So have Orton & Sheamus. Big Show is going to put his whole heart into this. Orton & Sheamus will be able to trust him about as much as they can trust each other. Then Big Show says, “Trust me” and walks off. Striker thanks Big Show for his time. This was a decent promo.

Time for The Rock-John Cena video package.

Rhodes Scholars & the Bellas are in the ring. Cody says that although the fans do not deserve it tonight the intellectual savior of the masses & the essence of mustachio magnificence bring a special gift. Sandow wants silence and he says that he & his best friend Cody are more than proud to present to everyone the class of the Divas division, the only 2 women with enough beauty & intelligence to accompany Team Rhodes Scholars, the Bellas. “You’re Welcome.”

Brodus Clay & Sweet T Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars. The match ends in a no finish when Naomi & Cameron go at it with the Bellas. The gals started going at it and then the guys went outside the ring and the referee called for the bell. Each team held their gals back. This wasn’t much.

Backstage Matt Striker interviews Randy Orton & Sheamus. He says they’re minutes away from their match. Are they & Big Show on the same page? Sheamus says absolutely. United they stand. Sheamus trusts Orton, Orton trusts him & they both trust Big Show as much as he trust them. Then Sheamus says, “Trust me” and he & Orton walk off. Then Sheamus comes back and says, “Seriously, trust me.” This was good & short.

Wade Barrett is on commentary for the next match.

The Miz vs. U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro. Miz wins by submission. This was solid but they had Cesaro lose to Miz in a non title match. Then Miz looks at Wade Barrett and then gives Cesaro a second Figure 4. Then Barrett takes his head set off & Miz wants him to get in the ring. Barrett hold the IC title above his head saying he is the champion. Miz says for now. It looks like they’re gonna have The Miz vs. Wade Barrett at WrestleMania.

Time for a look back at the Triple H-Paul Heyman bit at the end of Raw.

Randy Orton, Sheamus & Big Show vs. 3MB. Orton, Sheamus & Big Show win when Sheamus pins Jinder. This was solid & easily the longest 3MB match I can remember. Afterwards Big Show & Sheamus have words & Orton plays piece maker. Then The Shield comes out through the crowd. As they head to the ring Sheamus & Big Show shove each other. Then Big Show grabs Sheamus by the throat and shoves him into the corner. Then Orton goes to break it up but Big Show elbows him. Then Orton & Sheamus have word with Big Show as The Shield hops the guard rail. They surround the ring and then the faces hold them off. Orton invites The Shield to come in to the ring but the go back over the guard rail and walk off through the crowd. Orton, Sheamus & Big Show have a stare down with The Shield to end the show.

I thought this was a solid show overall. The Miz TV segment was ok but it was the usual “Start Smackdown with a promo and have Booker T set up the night’s main event” bit. The 6 man tag at the end was solid and easily the longest match I can recall 3MB having. The bit with the faces arguing as The Shield was coming to the ring and then having them unite as soon as The Shield were at ringside was kind of odd. Orton & Sheamus can’t get along with Big Show but as soon as The Shield shows up their bickering stops. Miz-Cesaro was solid but they had the U.S. Champion lose another non title match and Miz is looking to win the IC Title AKA the other secondary belt. Brodus & Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars wasn’t much. I wasn’t really into having Cameron & Naomi go at it with the Bellas. The Orton-Sheamus-Big Show segment backstage was decent and so were Big Show’s interview & the interview with Orton & Sheamus. Ryder-Henry was a squash but I was ok with the stare down Ryback & Henry had and Ryback clotheslining Henry out of the ring was decent too. The Booker T-Teddy Long segment backstage was lame too. Kofi-Dolph was solid too but I’m not sure why they had Dolph beat Kofi twice this week. Jericho-Swagger was good too but I wasn’t a fan of Fandango coming out. I’m not sure why they’re sticking Jericho in a feud with Johnny Curtis. On the whole though I thought this was a solid show this week.

3-21-13 Impact results and thoughts

       Coverage and thoughts on the March 21, 2013 episode of Impact

The show starts with Bully Ray saying it took 9 months for this plan to come together. Things didn’t go perfectly with plan A but that’s when he put plan B into affect. He destroyed friendships, people’s trust but most of all he destroyed the Hogan family. Brooke & Hulk have never been as low as they have now. He doesn’t care about he had to do to Sting to get what he wanted. He tells everyone to enjoy as he tells us how the most hated guy became world champion. They showed a video package recapping the whole Aces & 8s angle as he spoke. This was a good video package to start the show.

Hulk Hogan comes to the ring. He says that he’s been around a long time. He and the maniacs have been through hell and back together but he’s never had the wool pulled over his eyes like this. Not only did Aces & 8s fool the fans, they fooled him, Sting & everyone in TNA. Hulk says this isn’t just a battle; this is a war of survival. Out of all the guys who were left lying in the ring last week there were 4 guys who took the bull by the horns. He wants to bring them out. First is Samoa Joe. The next guy who fought like true warrior was Magnus. The next guy doesn’t have a weak bone in his body, the cyborg Kurt Angle. The last warrior has been the leader for the last 9 months and as far as Hulk’s concerned he’s their champion Jeff Hardy. Hulk needs these 4 guys to put Aces & 8s out and take the world title back to TNA. He asks Jeff if he’s ready for a rematch. Jeff says he’s in bad shape, but Ray stole the title and he and the creatures need it back. Then Jeff suggests they have a 4 way match to determine the number 1 contender for the world title. Hulk likes the idea and says that the last time he named the number 1 contender it was the worst decision of his life. So Hulk makes the 4 way for later. Tonight the best man in this ring will become the number 1 contender. This makes no sense. Jeff is the guy that Ray beat for the title. Jeff should get a rematch. Why is he in a 4 way to see who the number 1 contender will be?

More comments from Bully Ray with a video package. He says plan A was simple. Win the BFG series and then win the title, but coincidentally that was the night Aces & 8s first appeared & they attacked Sting. Then he needed to let the thought of James Storm being in the faction slip into Bobby Roode’s head. Storm played right into his hands by deciding to face Ray at BFG. Then Ray called Roode again to fill his head with more ideas about Storm being in Aces & 8s. Hulk locked down the building & Ray would wind up losing to Jeff Hardy. They made sure every single sign pointed to James Storm. Ray was racking up points in the BFG Series & Storm was the scapegoat. Then he says after he lost to Jeff Hardy at No Surrender he came up with a new plan & Hulk brought it right to him.

Hernandez & Chavo Guerrero, Jr. vs. TNA World Tag Team Champions Austin Aries & Bobby Roode for the Titles. Aries & Roode win when Aries pins Chavo. Chavo was on the top rope and then Daniels & Kazarian come out. Kazarian distracted the referee as Daniels pushed Chavo off the ropes. Then Aries pinned Chavo. Afterwards Daniels & Kazarian beat on Aries & Roode for a bit. This was a good match and I liked Daniels & Kazarian coming in and beating on the champs.

Time for a video package on the X Division.

Kenny King says he should mad about that video package, but if that’s how TNA wants to be so be it. It doesn’t matter if he’s facing 1 guy or 2. Since he’s facing 2 guys he will need some 5 hour energy. This was decent but did they have to use this promo to plug the 5 hour energy? 

Sonjay Dutt vs. Zima Ion vs. X Division Champion Kenny King for the Title. Kenny wins when he pins Sonjay. This was really good.

They show earlier in the day when Brooke Hogan came into the arena. Camera guy asks if she’s talked to Ray & what Hulk thinks. Brooke says she’s here as the Knockouts VP.

More of Bully Ray. When they got locked out Plan B went into affect. Jeff won the title at BFG so Ray had to come up with a new plan & it was standing right in front of him. Joseph Park was the bait when they took him hostage. They show more of the video package as Ray talks. Ray says Hulk turned his back on Devon. No one turns their back on his brother. Ray was gonna be the hero to save TNA. They show Sting endorsing Ray. Ray says shaking Hulk’s hand is when he knew he had Hulk. That’s when Hulk signed Impact’s fate. Ray & Sting became buds. He mentions being put through a table by Devon. Then 1 by 1 each TNA roster guy got taken out. He got caught in his next attempt and that was when he made the play for Brooke. The more Hulk said no the more Brooke said yes. That was when Ray knew that he was in. These video packages are really good.

They show Sting standing backstage outside Hulk’s office door.

Hulk is in his office and Sting comes in. Sting says he doesn’t care about the title. He wants a piece of Ray. Hulk tells Sting to do what he does best. Hang out in the rafters when things get heavy because Sting always causes problems. Sting says this is about revenge. This was a typical hokey Hulk-Sting segment.

Taryn Terrell comes to the ring ready to pay for attacking Gail Kim last week. She says she knows that she’s on probation. As a referee it’s her job to control the chaos but when Gail attacked her twice she had to fight back. Gail Kim comes out & says she’s glad Taryn learned the same lesson that the other knockouts learned. Not to mess with her. Gail is the greatest knockout ever and Taryn wouldn’t be there without her. Then she pretty much says that Taryn deserves to get the axe. Then Brooke Hogan comes out. She says this was a very tough decision for her to make. She thought long and hard about this. She loves Taryn as VP she has to be fair & fires Taryn. Gail’s happy. Brooke says she’s got good news. She has decided to sign Taryn to the TNA knockout roster (I knew that was coming). Then Taryn attacks Gail and chases her to the back. Then Bully Ray shows up. Ray shows Brooke his wedding ring & Brooke tells Ray that she hates him & then she walks off. This was a bit weak. I’m not a fan of Brooke Hogan and I knew that they were going to make Taryn a wrestler. I thought Gail was good with her promo though & Ray coming out was good too.

More from Bully Ray. They had Doc & Knox who felt like they were wronged. They’re the muscle. Garrett came to Hulk & stood by his side but Hulk brushed him off. Then he says that Hulk made Wes Briscoe beg. Then when Ken Anderson got taken out Hulk never checked on him. Anderson being in Aces & 8s was a no brainier. Then they show when Taz revealed himself to be in there. D’Lo was on the inside the whole time. He has access to all the secrets. They wanted to embarrass everyone in TNA. Kurt Angle was first. Wes & Garrett used Angle. They were gonna make sure Wes had every possible advantage. They show D’Lo giving Wes the yes in the gut check followed by Wes & Garrett turning heel. Once Ray’s world title match was set is was his decision to make sure every guy had been revealed except 1 and all that was left was the final part of the plan.

Kurt Angle says this 4 way is the most important match he’s had in a year and a half because that’s how long it’s been since he’s been world champion.  

Joseph Park vs. Matt Morgan. Morgan gets the pin. This was decent. He wants to take out Aces & 8s & the first step is taking the world title back.

Backstage camera guy asks Jeff Hardy what it would be like to get a world title rematch. Jeff says regaining the world title means everything to him, which is why he came up with the 4 way (That doesn’t make sense since Jeff does get a title rematch). He says that if he isn’t ready then Joe, Magnus or Angle can win the title. It doesn’t matter to him if any of the other guys win. 

Mike Tenay is in the ring & he brings out AJ Styles. Tenay says he’s known AJ for 10 years. He’s called all of his TNA matches. They’ve been friends. Then Tenay asks about the rumors about drug and alcohol abuse. AJ doesn’t respond. Then Taz gets the mic & tells Tenay he’s handling this badly so Taz will handle this. He has an Aces & 8s vest for AJ. He offers him to jump on board with Aces & 8s. Then James Storm comes out. AJ has his back to him. He asks if this is the new AJ. A guy who can’t face the man he sucker punched last week. Storm says the old AJ was the kind of guy who say what he thought about you to your face and not care what you thought. He can be the new AJ but he’s still the old James Storm. If AJ thinks about sucker punching him again Storm will knock his teeth out and say sorry about your damn luck. The fans chant hug it out. AJ stares down Storm and then walks out. Storm asks why AJ’s leaving. Everyone wants to know why. This was ok. I’m not sure what they’re doing with AJ here but I thought Taz & James Storm were good with their promos.

More Bully Ray. Ray knew that Hulk would never trust him he saw Ray with Brooke. Hulk just drove Brooke deeper into his arms. Ray used Sting to lure Hulk in. The wedding was the perfect chance to do what he wanted. Every good plan has an end game and he wouldn’t pass up the chance to have Taz be in the faction. Everyone saw Devon hit him with a cement pillar. He says that you got to take a few licks for the good of the team. Ray knew if he got his ass kicked right in front of Hulk’s face Hulk would have to trust him. Devon knew his part of the plan too by pretending to injure Ray’s ankle. Brooke had a week to convince Hulk to give Ray the chance. Ray played to Hulk’s biggest weakness. His ego. He wanted Hulk in the 6 man. When they beat down Sting he had to take care of his family. For 9 months Ray pulled off the biggest con in pro wrestling history. He is the president & leader of Aces & 8s. No one can stop them & no 1 will take his world title. This was really good. They did a great job with the video packages & Ray saying how the whole Aces & 8s came to be. 

Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus vs. Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe to determine the number 1 contender for the world title. Jeff wins when he pins Joe. This was good too. Then Joe shakes Jeff’s hand. Jeff celebrates in the ring to end the show.

I thought this was a good show overall. The opening in ring segment was solid and the 4 way main event was good too, but I’m not sure why they had this match since Jeff should get a rematch. After all Ray beat him for the world title. The Aces & 8s video packages with Ray pealing back the lairs of how Aces & 8s came to be was really good. Ray was tremendous here. The AJ-Storm-Tenay-Taz segment was ok. I liked that Taz had an Aces & 8s vest for AJ. AJ not speaking was ok here but I hope it doesn’t become a recurring bit. Taz & Storm were both good with their promos too. It looks like we’ll be getting James Storm-AJ Styles match. The bit with the knockouts was kinda weak but Gail was good with her promo. Park-Morgan was decent. Hernandez & Chavo vs. Aries & Roode was good & I liked Daniels & Kazarian getting involved. Will they have Daniels & Kazarian vs. Aries & Roode since they’re both heel teams? I think that would be a really good match. The X title match was good too. The Hulk-Sting backstage bit was your typical hokey bit. On the whole though I thought this was a good show.

3-18-13 Raw results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the March 18, 2013 episode of Raw

The show starts with John Cena coming to the ring. He says there’re both fans of him & Rock in the crowed. The fans have 20 days left to pick a side. Since he stands in the middle of a soled out house divided, he has a message for all The Rock fans. Rock’s time is up Cena’s time is now. All he has is right now. Starting with the rumble there’s been a title wave momentum for him. For those who haven’t given up he won’t make the same mistake that he made last year in promising to win but he is ready for WrestleMania. Then out come the Primetime Players. Titus has an Afro wig and is dressed like The Rock. Titus says Cena’s not the only 1 ready for Mania. They’re ready too. Titus says he is “Rufus Pancake Patterson”. Cena says they’re in Pittsburgh, who are known for the Steelers and Penguins. There’re also some good doctors who deal with people who have multiple personalities. Titus says this city needs the Primetime Players. Darren says the put the E in WWE. They do the millions of dollars bit and Titus “hurts” his hip. Cena says he’s days away from Mania with his match against Rock. Titus says the fans don’t want to see Cena. They want to see the Primetime Players. Then Titus mentions how everyone says Darren looks like Cena. Then he says Darren should be on a cocoa pebble box. Titus continues to mock The Rock. He says that Darren has no problem tearing Cena limb from limb. Darren says that Cena will be crying just like last year. Cena tells them to get in the ring with him right now and he will show them what it means to be ready for the main event at WrestleMania. Darren gets in the ring and the match is on. This was terrible! Cena has a rematch against The Rock at WrestleMania and it’s for the WWE Title this year and they have Titus O’Neil in an Afro wig mimicking The Rock? What are they thinking in WWE!? This was really idiotic!

John Cena vs. Darren Young. Cena gets the pin. This was a meaningless squash.

Time for a look back at The Shield laying out Ryback and then Mark Henry giving Ryback 3 world’s strongest slams.

Ryback vs. David Otunga. Ryback gets the pin. This was also a meaningless squash.

Then Ryback says at WrestleMania he Orton & Sheamus will tear The Shield apart. As far as Mark Henry’s concerned, they will cross again. When that time comes everyone knows it will be feeding time. “Feed me more.” Then out comes Mark Henry. Then Vickie Guerrero & Teddy Long come out. Long tells Henry not to take another step towards the ring right now. Vickie takes Ryback out of the 6 man tag for Mania. If Ryback wants to be at Mania he will face Mark Henry. Then Ryback gives Otunga a second marching muscle buster and tells Henry, “This is you.” This was decent.

Fandango comes out. Will he make his “premiere” tonight? Not likely. Wait a minute, he actually dances his way into the ring. Then out come Great Khali & Natalya. Fandango gets the mic and tells Khali it’s obvious that Khali’s too stupid to say his name right, so he will let the Canadian slice of Heaven Natalya give it a try. He flirts with her and tells her not to be afraid of his masculinity. Then she starts to say his name and then she says go get him Khali. Then Fandango walks up the ramp. Tonight was the night that we almost got to see the debut of……Faaaandaaango. (The fans chant you can’t wrestle. I’m not sure who they were chanting that at). This is beyond idiotic! Can they have Fandango be in a match please? This time he gets in the ring just to walk out and complain about his name being “mispronounced”?  

R-Truth comes to the ring for his match with Damien Sandow. Then Sandow comes out. He says rather than love than money than fame give me truth. That poet is rolling over in his grave right now because of R-Truth and that the R stands for repugnant. You’re Welcome. Truth says he has some poetry. “Your beard is weird and you talk a lot. I got 4 sweet words for you. You gonna get got. You’re Welcome” This was lame.

R-Truth vs. Damien Sandow. Truth wins by count out when Sandow walks out. This was match was also pointless.

Cody Rhodes is backstage with the Bellas. They love his mustache. Then Kaitlyn comes by and she tells Cody she has a thing later so they can’t hang out. Then she tells the Bellas they can have his mustache and Cody can have theirs. This was idiotic too.

The Undertaker comes to the ring. He says Punk sealed his fate last week when he made this personal. Taker will hurt him bad at Mania. Punk has 1 chance to save his own soul. Taker wants the urn back. Then Punk show’s up on the Tron talking like Paul Bearer. Paul wants Taker to know his death was professional loss as well as a personal one. If Taker is disqualified or counted out he loses. Taker is the best in the world at WrestleMania but he’s never met someone like Punk (Actually they have faced each other before). Taker answers to a higher power, but Punk is a higher power. Punk’s the guy who can snap Taker’s streak. Punk’s willing to walk through hell to see what sort of pain Taker inflicts on him. Punk is the guy who will end the streak. He is the 1. 20-1. The lid of the urn falls off as he’s tossing it and he says no disrespect intended. I felt uncomfortable with this. Why do they feel the need to have Bill Moody’s passing in this angle? That’s really in bad taste.

WWE Tag Team Champions Kane & Daniel Bryan vs. Primo & Epico. Kane & Daniel win when Kane pins Primo. Kane is about to choke slam 1 of them and then AJ’s music hits and she skips around the ring. Then Kane got the pin anyway. Then AJ skips to the back.  This was ok but why have AJ come out and skip around the ring? Also the “someone’s music plays and that distracts the guy” bit is stupid.

Backstage Josh Mathews asks Chris Jericho for his thoughts on tonight’s match. Jericho says he’s been IC Champion 9 times and will make it 10 tonight. They’re on the way to show case of Immortals. Then in comes Fandango. Jericho asks if he has something to say, he never caught his name. “Faaaandaango.” Jericho says a bunch of words that have “Fan” in front of them. Curtis tells Christopher he will learn to pronounce his name properly. Then Fandango walks out and Jericho says that he hasn’t gotten his tickets for Dead Man Down. This was stupid too! Why have Jericho cut a Cena like promo? There hasn’t been anything good on this show tonight!!

They show Jack Swagger clipping Del Rio’s knee on from Main Event during Del Rio’s match with Big Show. Del Rio was counted out after Swagger clipped his knee.  

World Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Cody Rhodes. Del Rio wins by submission. This was a good match. Then Jack Swagger comes in and beats on Del Rio. Ricardo jumps on Swagger’s back but Jack throws him off & out of the ring. Then Del Rio & Swagger brawl to the floor. Del Rio sends Swagger into the ring barrier. Then Del Rio grabs Coulter but then Swagger gets Del Rio from behind and throws Del Rio into the steel steps. Then he throws Del Rio over the announce table and shouts, “Welcome to Jack Swagger’s America.” Then Swagger applies the Ankle lock on Ricardo. Ricardo screams in pain and gets looked at. This was a good way to get heel heat on Swagger. Both the match and the post match attack were first good parts of this show. Let’s hope it stays that way.  

They show what happened during the break. Ricardo is placed on a stretcher.

Time to find out who the next 2013 Hall of Fame inductee will be. It’s Booker T. That was a nice surprise. They show a Hall of Fame video package for him.

Randy Orton & Sheamus vs. Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre. Orton & Sheamus win Orton pins Slater. Orton & Sheamus dominated the whole match.

Then The Shield comes out the crowed. They stand outside the ring. Then Big Show’s music hits and he comes to the ring to stand with Orton & Sheamus. The Shield attempts to get in the ring but are stopped. Then The Shield hops the rail & head out through the crowed. Big Show points to the WrestleMania sign and walks out. This was good.

Time for a look at the G.I. Joe movie that The Rock is in.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph gets the pin. This was a solid match. Kofi was on the top rope and then AJ got on the apron & distracted the referee. Dolph rolled outside the ring. Kofi dove to the outside but Langston hit him. Then Dolph got Kofi back in the ring & hit the Zig Zag for the pin.

Then Kane’s pyro goes off and he & Daniel Bryan come out. Daniel congratulates Dolph for being the only guy to manage to get him & Kane on the same page. Kane says we’ve all seen what Langston can do outside the ring. How about we see what he can do in the ring. Kane suggests that he & Daniel face Dolph & Big E. AJ says that Ziggy & Big E accept if they put the tag titles on the line at WrestleMania. Daniel says let me think about that and than shouts yes a few times. This was decent too.

Time for a video package on The Rock- John Cena match.

Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett for the Title. Barrett wins when he pins Miz. This was a really good match. Miz gave Jericho the Skull Crushing Finale and then Barrett rolled up Miz and got the pin.

Time for a look at the premiere of The Call.

Now it’s time for some fans’ TOUTS saying what the stipulation for the HHH-Lesnar match at WrestleMania should be.

Time for the HHH-Lesnar contract signing. Out comes Triple H. Then Paul Heyman comes out with security. HHH thought Lesnar would’ve been the kind of guy to look him in the eye. Heyman says Brock is fearless. Heyman says HHH has 2 choices. He can disappoint the fans or he can sign to face Lesnar at WrestleMania and not know what the stipulations are. Heyman thinks HHH doesn’t know what to do yet. He thinks HHH is frustrated. HHH says Heyman spared no expense. Heyman says Lesnar has signed the agreement for Mania. If HHH signs it too then Heyman will tell him the stipulations he & Brock picked for him. HHH says Heyman forgot 1 part. He doesn’t care what the stipulations are and wants to sign it. Heyman says he & Brock have spent hours watching 1 piece of footage over again. He’s sure HHH is familiar with this footage. They show the awesome HHH-Lesnar brawl from 3 weeks ago. Heyman says this is as big as it gets. Heyman says he knows how to top that. Heyman says that for the match HHH will be blindfolded. Then he says that won’t happen because Lesnar wants HHH to look into the face of the guy who will be beating him, so HHH will have his hands cuffed & his legs shackled. That isn’t happening because Brock wants to beat HHH fair and square. Heyman says Lesnar lets him pick the stipulation. The winner gets Stephanie. That wouldn’t work because it would be more fitting if the loser got Stephanie. Then HHH grabs Heyman. The security guards try to pull HHH back but he fights them off. Then HHH grabs Heyman and throws him face first into the table. Then HHH says since he knows Brock’s not coming out till he signs the contract, how about Hunter takes his time & enjoys this. HHH continues beating on Heyman as Heyman shouts for Brock. Then HHH puts the contract on Heyman’s chest and says you wanna make it official here we go. HHH signs the contract and tells Heyman to go get his monster. HHH then kicks Heyman out of the ring. Out comes Brock Lesnar with a steel chair. HHH takes out a sledgehammer. HHH dares Brock to get in the ring but Brock backs off. Then Brock goes to get in the ring but Heyman stops him and says they’ve won this round and HHH has signed his own death warrant. Lesnar & Heyman head up the ramp to the stage. Then Heyman says Brock’s the toughest guy but the beating HHH gave Heyman made HHH sign the contract. At WrestleMania it will be no DQ, no count out and no stopping the match for anything. The match will be No Holds Barred. Heyman then says when HHH faces Lesnar the added stipulation they picked is that Triple H’s career is on the line. Heyman says game over. Lesnar has a grin on his face with the contract in his hand to end the show. This was awesome! Heyman was great on the mic as always & he took a beating from HHH. They did a great job here. I liked how Heyman said that he goaded HHH into signing the contract & Heyman saying it will be no DQ, no count out and no stopping the match for anything. The match will No Holds Barred with Triple H’s career on the line makes sense to me. This should be a really enjoyable match at WrestleMania.

I thought this was a 50-50 show overall. The first half was dreadful but it got better after the Del Rio-Cody match. The Cena-Primetime Players segment was terrible and the Cena-Darren match was a meaningless squash. Ryback-Otunga was a meaningless squash too but the post match bit with Ryback, Henry; Vickie & Long to set up the Ryback-Henry match at WrestleMania was decent. The end of the show really awesome! They did a great in continuing the build for the Triple H-Brock Lesnar match. I am kind of curious if Triple H will lose since he is an executive in WWE now. I’m guessing Triple H will win but we’ll see. The Fandango bit with Khali & Natalya was lame. I really wish they’d have this guy in a match already. Truth-Sandow was also pointless. Orton & Sheamus vs. Drew & Heath was mostly a squash too. I was really uncomfortable with the Taker-Punk segment. Using Bill Moody’s passing in the storyline is in bad taste. The Shield coming out and then having Big Show come out to even the odds was good. Kane & Daniel vs. Primo & Epico was another meaningless match. Kofi-Dolph was solid and I was ok with Kane & Daniel coming out & setting up their match with Big E & Dolph at WrestleMania. Jericho’s backstage promo with Fandango was idiotic but the 3 way IC Title match was really good. Del Rio-Cody was good too and I liked the Jack Swagger post match attack on Del Rio & Ricardo. This was a really good way to get heel heat on Swagger. I also liked the Booker T video package and he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. On the whole I thought this week’s show started out awful but it got better as it went on.