3-1-13 Smackdown results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the March 1, 2013 episode of Smackdown

The show starts with Alberto Del Rio coming to the ring. Then out comes Damien Sandow. He says that others will say what they will but he believes Del Rio fits right in with the rest of America. Poor grammar, lack luster word choice & sentence structure that is absolutely abhorrent. He tells the fans “SILENCE!” Then he says that above all, Del Rio the World Champion is accompanied to the ring by a man in an outdated rented tux and carrying a spit bucket. Sandow on the other hand is accompanied only by his superior intellect, his timeless good looks & the jealous gazes of the unwashed masses. “You’re welcome.” Then Del Rio says that Sandow wants to talk about unwashed. Del Rio says that Sandow needs to wash his mouth because it smells like “caca.” They had some pre match promos but they’re actually starting the show off with a match. I love it!

World Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Damien Sandow. Del Rio wins by submission. This was a good back and forth match. I like that they had Sandow get in a good amount of offense in here.

Time for a look back at the great Cena-Punk match from Monday.

Kane is sitting in the locker room. Daniel throws him a blindfold. Kane asks what this is. Daniel says this is the only reason why Kane managed to beat The Primetime Players Monday and Daniel didn’t. Kane says the choke slam that he gave Darren Young had something to do it. Daniel says that it didn’t and he will prove it. Daniel talked to Booker T and tonight they have a rematch with The Primetime Players. This time however, Daniel will have 1 arm tied behind his back and Kane will be blindfolded. Kane says fine and Daniel asks him if he has any idea how hard it is to compete when you can’t see. Daniel then tells Kane to give him 1 good reason why he is fine with this. Kane will give him 2 reasons. First, after he beats The Primetime Players it will prove once and for all that Kane is better than Daniel. Second, since Kane will be wearing a blindfold he won’t have to look at Daniel’s ugly goat face. Kane walks off & Daniel screams no a few times. This was typical Kane-Daniel Bryan. 

The Miz vs. U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro in a 2 out of 3 falls match for the Title. Cesaro wins. 2 falls to 1. * Cesaro pins Miz * Miz makes Cesaro tap (This happened during the break) * Cesaro pins Miz. This was a good back and forth match too. I liked that they had a 2 out of 3 falls match.

Randy Orton is in the locker room and Sheamus comes in. Sheamus says that he heard that Orton has a match with Big Show tonight. Sheamus says that might make Orton a sitting duck for The Shield. Orton says that he can’t think about The Shield right now. He has to think about Big Show. Sheamus tells him that The Shield are thinking the exact same thing. Orton asks what he wants him to do about it. Sheamus says there’s not much that Orton can do, or he can have this big Irishman watch his back. But since Orton is such a loner he probably wouldn’t be interested. Orton never said that wasn’t interested. Sheamus asks him what he is saying. Orton says thanks.

Jim Ross comes to the ring. He thanks the fans and says that it’s always great to be back home in Oklahoma. He’s here tonight for a specific reason, to address 1 of the most heated controversial issues that he’s ever experienced in WWE. Then he introduces Jack Swagger & Zeb Coulter. JR says that he & Jack go back a long way. They might not have always been on the same page, but JR has always respect Swagger’s athletic ability. JR recruited Jack to come to WWE while Jack was still playing football for the Sooners. Swagger rags on the team. Then he says that he believes that JR is a real American and this is why they gave him this interview. Zeb says that after the way they were treated by The Miz they both wanted a forum where they know they would be treated fairly. JR says that they will be treated fairly and he has some tough questions to ask them. Before they get to their somewhat controversial political views JR brings up Swagger’s World Title match with Del Rio at WrestleMania and wants to take Swagger back to September 3. It was on that Raw where he told a global fan base that he was taking a sabbatical after suffering another defeat in a string of embarrassing losses. Swagger comes back 5 months later, but he’s not the same Jack Swagger that JR remembers. JR asks Jack what happened to him. Zeb says that he told Swagger what the real problem in this country was & he told him the reality & the truth of what’s happening in the U.S. every day. JR tells Zeb that question was directed to Jack & he doesn’t get where Zeb is coming from. Zeb says that JR doesn’t look blind but he refuses to see. WWE is just a microcosm of what’s happening in this country. Every day in this country things are happening that Zeb doesn’t like. Zeb asks how it is possible that Jack Swagger can suddenly go on a losing streak, which opened the door for an “outsider” to sneak in like Del Rio and take a position that rightfully belongs to an American. Every day in this country thousands of undocumented workers are crossing the boarder and taking jobs from real Americans. Jack & Zeb will not stand idly by and watch this country self destruct. Then Swagger says, “We the People.” Then JR mentions WrestleMania. Swagger has the chance to become World Champion if he beats Del Rio. Zeb says that at WrestleMania when the dust clears the title will lie firmly around the waist of a natural born citizen. A real American, who speaks English, recites the Pledge of Allegiance and has worked for everything that he has gotten in the country. Then Zeb says that Del Rio is not 1 of “us.” He doesn’t share “our” values and he needs to leave this country. Then Zeb asks JR when JR is sitting in his own home and on his kitchen table is a fruit basket and it begins to rot and attract flies what do you do with it? Sit there and smell it or throw it out? Zeb says, “Exactly, you’re gonna dump it.” This is “our” country and we smell something stinking and that stink is Del Rio. AT WrestleMania Jack Swagger is fighting for more than just a championship. He is fighting for the heart and soul of “our” country. Then Swagger says, “We the People.” JR asks Swagger what’s happened to him. He’s not the Jack Swagger that he knew. Zeb has brain washed Swagger. Zeb says that’s a pretty big word. Zeb mentions that JR knew Swagger in his formative years. SO any brain washing that was going on was on JR’s end. All Zeb did was tell him the reality and the truth of what’s going on. JR respectfully disagrees and says that Zeb can express himself freely and then JR suggests that Zeb expresses his right to remain silent. Then Zeb says that since they’re suggesting things to each other Zeb suggest that JR keeps a civil tongue in his head or something will happen to him that he will regret later on. JR doesn’t know or care what Zeb means by that. Then Swagger rips JR’s hat off his head and asks him who does he think he is talking to a real American like that? Then Swagger pokes JR a couple times and says that he was wrong about him. He tells JR that he’s either part of the solution or part of the problem. Swagger & Coulter will fix that problem. Then Swagger says that JR isn’t a real American. He’s nothing more than a sympathizer. Swagger backs JR into the corner and says do you know what we do to sympathizers. Then Del Rio’s music hits and he comes out. Del Rio gives JR his hat back. Then he gets the mic and says that Jack and Zeb have it all wrong. The 2 of them are the problem and he is the solution. Then Del Rio says that Swagger isn’t a real American. He is a real jackass. Then Jack & Zeb walk out. This really dragged on. I’m tired of this angle. Zeb is good on the mic and JR was good here too but this angle is just not working for me.

WWE Tag Team Champions Kane (who is blindfolded) & Daniel Bryan (who has 1 arm tied behind his back) vs. The Primetime Players. The Primetime Players win. When Titus pins Daniel. This was the same kind of comedy they had Monday. Daniel put a goat face blindfold over Kane’s head. Kane was going for choke slam but then Daniel tagged himself in. Then Kane grabbed the referee by the throat and then he did the same to Daniel. Then Kane felt Daniels beard and that allowed Darren to get the roll up on Daniel for the pin. Then Kane took the blindfold off and saw that it was a goat face. Kane screams at Daniel asking him if he thinks this is funny. Daniel says he didn’t do it. Then Daniel puts his arm out for a hug and Kane puts the blindfold on Daniel’s head hit him and walked out.

Backstage Matt Striker interviews Big Show. Striker mentions that Big Show faces Orton tonight and asks if Show has any comments. Big Show says that this is WrestleMania season, a time to make an impact. What better way for the world’s largest athlete to make an impact than to choke slam Randy Orton. This was nice and short.

Back to the show and we go to Matt Striker again. This time he interviews Fandango. Johnny Curtis does this over the top act telling Striker how to say his name. Then Stryker says that the fans a very excited for his debut (I really doubt that). What can Fandango Curtis tell us about his fighting style (They’re acting like we’ve never seen this dude before when we have)? Fandango says that he has mastered the art of dance; he’s accomplished everything there is to accomplish in the ballroom. Now it’s time for him to take his rhythm, his precision, his grace to the ring so that everyone in WWE can follow his lead. Then Striker says Fandango Curtis will be making his “debut” next but before he can say who he will be facing Curtis not tonight. He will debut when Striker gets his name right. Then he says his name in that hammy way again. This was stupid. Does anybody in WWE really think that the fans are going to be interested in Johnny Curtis’ new creepy gimmick?

Time for the Raw Rebound recapping the start of Raw. The HHH-Lesnar brawl was awesome was really good.

Randy Orton vs. Big Show. Orton wins by DQ when The Shield comes in. The Shield surrounded Orton and then Sheamus came out ready to fight. The Shield got in the ring and went at it with Sheamus & Orton, leading to the DQ finish. The brawl continues and as Sheamus & Reigns are going at it, Reigns bumps into Big Show & Big Show gives him the KO punch. Then Big Show glares at Ambrose & Rollins & they retreat. Then Big Show choke slams Randy Orton and then Sheamus gives Big Show a Brogue Kick. Then Sheamus & Orton shake hands and that ends the show. The match was solid and I liked the brawl too.

I thought this week’s show had its ups and downs for sure. I liked that they started the show off with a match this time. Del Rio & Sandow both spoke before it started but it wasn’t 20 minutes of talking and I thought the match was good. The Orton-Big Show match was solid and I liked The Shield coming out and then Sheamus storming to the ring. The brawl was good too. The Fandango promo was stupid. I don’t see anyone being interested in that gimmick. The JR-Swagger-Zeb-Del Rio segment was too long and this storyline really doesn’t work for me. Kane & Daniel Bryan vs. The Primetime Players was the same kind of comedy match that they had Monday. Miz-Cesaro was good and I liked that it was a 2 out of 3 falls match. Overall I thought this week’s show was a mixed bag.