12-5-11 Raw results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the December 5, 2011 episode of Raw

The show starts with John Cena coming to the ring. He talks about being on Piper’s Pit last week and thanks him and then he mentions that all the fans tell Cena how they feel about him. He then says that Piper told him how he felt. He says that there is no show without the fans (someone tell Vince this). He then says that the fans can react however they want to him. He then mentions CM Punk beating Del Rio last week and the reaction that got. He then says that Punk needs a new number one contender and that Rock vs. Cena for the WWE Title would be great. Alberto Del Rio then comes out and says that the Title shot is his. Cena then mentions that Del Rio lost to Punk last week. Del Rio says that the fans don’t matter and then he talks about the stip Johnny Ace made last week that if Punk was intentionally DQ’d Del Rio would become Champion. He has the replay of Punk giving Del Rio the GTS into the exposed turnbuckle and says that Punk cheated. Vickie Guerrero then comes out and says that Dolph deserves a Title match. Dolph then says that he has the most entertaining matches on purpose. Cena then rags on Dolph calling himself “the showoff” and that he can replace the word show with the word jerk (I can’t believe they had that on here). Dolph says that he backs up what he says and Cena says that Dolph won’t give Zack Ryder a U.S. Title match. Dolph then says that he will get the next Title match. Then The Miz comes out and says talks about how he beat Cena at WrestleMania and that his Title reign was more than a month and that he took out both R-Truth and John Morrison and that he should be next in line for a WWE Title match. Johnny Ace then comes out and says that Miz, Del Rio & Dolph will be in singles action tonight and they will each face a Smackdown guy. He mentions that if they win then they will challenge Punk for the WWE Title at TLC. Then he mentions that there will be a live contract signing for the WWE Title match later. He tells Cena that he will have a special match later called the “Social Experiment.” Then he tells Miz that his match is first. Randy Orton’s music plays and he comes out. This was terrible. Cena cut his usual crappy promo and Johnny Ace was dull as usual.

Randy Orton vs. The Miz. Wade Barrett’s music plays and he comes out. Orton then chases Barrett to the back and Miz wins by count out. Miz will be in the TLC match. After the match Orton heads back to the ring and Barrett gets him from behind. This was ok for what it was. I figured they’d have Miz win and they’re continuing the Orton-Barrett feud, which is ok with me.

They have a video package about the WWE Network. This was meaningless.

Johnny Ace is texting AGAIN and Zack Ryder is there and Ace tells him that Dolph filed a complaint about his petition or whatever. Then John Cena comes in dressed as Zack Ryder and talks like an imbecile and Ace then says that tonight Cena will face Ryder because the fans want to see it. Then he tells Ryder that if he wins he will get a U.S. Title match. Then he tells Cena that if he wins he will qualify for the TLC WWE Title match. This was total crap!

David Otunga is backstage and tells Kevin Nash that he will face Triple H in a ladder match. Nash says he doesn’t do ladder matches. Otunga then says that there will be a sledgehammer hanging above the ring. Nash says he can deal with that. The Otunga tells him that he will be in action tonight. Nash asks if it will be Triple H. Otunga tells him it won’t be tonight. Nash walks off. This was awful too.

Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio. Bryan comes out with his ribs taped and they show the cage with Mark Henry from last Tuesday. Del Rio wins by submission. This was short.  Del Rio will be in the TLC WWE Title match.

They start to show a “pin up strong” video package and then they show they kid in the classroom video for 1/2/12 and then they go back to Natalya & Beth. I’m not sure why they did this.

Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres (with Alicia Fox) vs. Natalya & Divas Champion Beth Phoenix. Kelly & Eve win when Kelly pins Beth. This was pointless too.

John Cena vs. Zack Ryder. Cena gets the pin. This was a decent match. They show Dolph & Vickie watching backstage. Cena will be in the Title match. After the match Ryder gets upset about losing.

They show Johnny Ace & David Otunga backstage and Cena comes in and tells Otunga to beat it. Then he tells Ace to listen to the people and he says that Zack Ryder deserves a U.S. Title match. Ace then says that he will have a second opportunity tonight if Cena gives up his spot in the WWE Title match at TLC. Cena says that he was fortunate enough to get his opportunity and that Ryder should get his chance now. Cena gives up his Title match. Then he asks who Ryder will face and Ace doesn’t know yet. This was idiotic too. This whole Johnny Ace being GM storyline has to end!

Zack Ryder is still in the ring and David Otunga tells Justin Roberts something and then Roberts that this will be a No DQ, no count out match. Mark Henry’s music plays and he comes out.

Zack Ryder vs. World Champion Mark Henry. Cena comes in and gives Mark Henry the AA and then he drags Ryder on top of Henry for the pin. This was mostly Henry dominating before Cena came in. I’m not sure why they had the World Champion lose.

Dolph, Jack Swagger & Vickie are backstage and Vickie says that Ace can’t overturn the referee’s decision. Vickie then says that she found out that Dolph will face Sheamus later. Swagger says that he will be at ringside and Dolph says that he doesn’t have to be. Then they bicker and Dolph says he’s just messing with him. He then tells Swagger that he still doesn’t want him at ringside. This was lame.

Santino Marella vs. Kevin Nash. Nash gets the pin. This was a meaningless squash. Afterwards Nash gets the sledgehammer and hints at hitting Santino but he poses. This was idiotic.

They show CM Punk & Evan Bourne backstage.

Sheamus vs. U.S. Champion Dolph Ziggler. Sheamus gets the pin. Zack Ryder’s music played and he came out and that distracted Dolph. This was a decent match. Afterwards Ryder gets in the ring and gives Dolph the Rough Rider.

Time for the contract signing. Miz, Ricardo & Alberto are in the ring and then Johnny Ace comes out and says that he made John Cena vs. Mark Henry for next week. He talks more and then he introduces CM Punk and he comes out. Punk moves the table and says that the contract signing is cliché and that they always end with a brawl. He says there haven’t been a peaceful contract signing since Hogan-Andre at WrestleMania 3 and says that Ace is boring. Ace says that he is about excitement and that Punk will face Del Rio & Miz in a TLC match. WE KNEW THAT ALREADY!! Punk’s ok with that. Then Miz mentions how he took out Truth & Morrison. Punk then does a Cena like bit. Miz says that Morrison was released. Ace then wishes him the best in his future endeavors. UGH! Miz then talks about the TLC match and that he is the most must see WWE Champion and that he will take back what is his Sunday. Punk then rags on Miz and then Del Rio says that he is the best in the world. He mentions how he beat Punk for the WWE Title and will do the same on Sunday. Miz then says that he & Del Rio aren’t friends but they both agree that Punk will not walk out of TLC with the Title. Miz signs the contract. Then Del Rio does and then he tells Punk that will lose. Punk then signs the contract. Ace wishes all 3 good luck and is looking forward to this match. Then he asks photographer to come in and take a picture. Punk then says that this contract signing is boring and that if he wants something done right he has to do it himself. Then he throws the first punch, sets Ricardo up for a GTS but Del Rio attacks Punk. Miz then grabs Del Rio from behind and then Punk puts Del Rio through the table. Then he gives Miz the GTS. CM Punk then poses on the turnbuckle with the WWE Title and stares down Johnny Ace, who is on the stage. Punk holds up the Title to end the show. This was painful! The whole segment was the predictable contract signing that WWE always has. Punk mentioning that was the best part of this.

This show was really painful to watch! The only good part of the show was the Sheamus-Dolph match. The rest of it was lousy!