12-12-11 Raw results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the December 12, 2011 3 hour Slammy Award episode of Raw

The show starts with Booker T & Hornswoggle coming to present the “Tell me I didn’t just see that award.” The choices are 1. Santino Marella’s almost winning the Royal Rumble 2. The Miz giving John Cena a Rock Bottom while dressed as The Rock 3. R-Truth losing his Capital Punishment WWE Title match after “Little Jimmy” threw soda at him and 4. Jim Ross’ dance performance.  The winner is Jim Ross. Jim Ross comes out and thanks the fans but then Michael Cole cuts him off saying that this show is a shame. Cole then rags on JR AGAIN! Booker T then says Cole is a loser and that tonight JR can beat him in a rap off. OH NO! JR, Booker T & Hornswoggle come to the ring and Booker says that Cole will go first. Cole does his stupid rap bit. THIS IS BEYOND STUPID! Booker then says that that was the worst rap he’s ever heard in his life. JR then does his bit. Cole tells him that he’s supposed to rhyme. That was awful too. Booker asks the fans who the winner is and naturally they go with JR. Booker then tells JR that the people want to see JR do a “JR-rooni”. To quote Zack Ryder, “Are you serious bro!!?” Booker does the spinnarooni then JR does his variation. THIS WAS UNBELIVEABLY PAINFUL!!

Mick Foley is backstage and he will hand out the next slammy.

Mick Foley and The Million Dollar Man come out to present the “holy **** award. Mick and Ted do a good back and forth bit. The choices are 1. Sheamus Power Bombing Sin Cara through a ladder at MITB 2. Randy Orton giving Christian an RKO on the steel steps at SummerSlam 3. The ring imploding at Vengeance during the Big Show-Mark Henry match and 4. Evan Bourne does a Shooting Star Press off a ladder at MITB. The winner is Big Show vs. Mark Henry. Big Show comes out and mentions his encounter with Mark Henry on Smackdown. Then he says the World Title would look really good with the slammy. Then he says he’s going to go to the ring and bounce someone around. This was better then the first segment.

Big Show vs. Wade Barrett. Before the match Barrett says that Show’s award was about the unexpected and that there isn’t anything unexpected about him giving Orton the beating of his life. Then he tells Big Show that he should hope he doesn’t World Champion at TLC, because if he does the Barrett Barrage will come after him. Big Show breaks a table at ringside with his bear hands. Then he punches a chair and the match ends with Big Show winning by DQ. Barrett then bails. This was ok for what it was.

The Road Dogg makes his return to hand out the pipe bomb of the year award. Then he does his old bit. They show a number promo bits/segments. I have no idea who the choices were. The winner is CM Punk. The right guy got this one. Punk comes out with a mannequin. I’m not sure what that’s for. Punk says he wants to give someone the recognition he never gets and that the person is very boring and has no honor or intelligence. Then he “honors” Johnny Ace. The play a music video with Johnny Ace clips. They showed some old clips and man did he look different. This was kind of funny. Then Punk says that Ace couldn’t be there to accept the award son Punk accepts it for him and then he imitates him. This was the usual good promo from Punk. His delivery was good as always.

Lita returns to present the most “Divalicious” moment of the year. The choices are 1. Natalya does a Double Sharpshooter 2. Kelly Kelly wins the Divas Title 3. Kharma’s debut and 4. Beth Phoenix Glam Slams Eve Torres from the top rope. The winner is Kelly. WHAT? This whole thing is rigged! Kelly comes out but before she can speak Natalya & Beth come out. Beth snatches the slammy and Kelly slaps her and snatches it back and Lita raises her arm. This was pointless. They’ve made Natalya & Beth look weaker than ever!

Santino Marella & the Bella Twins come out to present the OMG moment of the year. The choices are 1. Triple H tombstones Undertaker at WrestleMania 2. Rock Bottom on John Cena 3. The Walkout and 4. CM Punk winning the WWE Title. The winner is Triple H giving Taker a Tombstone. Triple H comes out with a water bottle and sledge hammer and he goes to the ring. He gets the mic and says that the OMG award wasn’t what they showed but the real moment was after the match because Undertaker was wheeled to the back for the first time and his career. Then he says that Taker is no more and that the streak came to an end. Then he mentions Kevin Nash and they show Nash attacking him with a sledgehammer 2 months ago (Why do we have to relive this crap again?) HHH then says that Nash should’ve finished the job. Then he says that their 16 friendship might have been about who makes it to the top first. Then he says that he will get the sledgehammer and beat Nash with it over and over. Then he says that at TLC he will show the world that Nash is done. Then he stares down Santino who bails. This was crappy too! I hope to God that this storyline ends this Sunday!

        

David Otunga & Tony Atlas come out to present the most twitter trending award. This is a strange team. Otunga talks and Atlas laughs. Otunga asks what’s so funny and Atlas says him. The choices are 1. Cody Rhodes 2. Daniel Bryan 3. Dolph Ziggler and 4. Zack Ryder. The 4 guys will be in a 4 Way next before we find out who gets the award.

Zack Ryder vs. Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. U.S. Champion Dolph Ziggler. Dolph wins when he pins Daniel. This was a really good match! Jerry Lawler gets in the ring and announcing that trending winner is Zack Ryder. Dolph lays Ryder out and takes the slammy. I’m not sure what the point of the match was if that didn’t decide who would win the award, but it was a good match.

Christian comes out on crutches and with a neck brace to present the game changer of the year award. First he presents himself with the most courageous award for being there injured. Then he asks how come he isn’t nominated for this award or for super star of the year. Then he mentions how he won 2 World Titles. Then he blames the fans that he never got one more match for the World Title. Christian cut a good promo. The choices are 1. Triple H relieving Vince 2. Edge announcing his retirement 3. Kevin Nash attacking CM Punk at SummerSlam and 4. The Rock & John Cena announcing their match for WrestleMania 28. The winner is Rock challenging Cena. Cena comes out and gets the usual mixed reaction. He says this award happened because of a team and he introduces The Rock, but of course Rock isn’t there. Then Cena says they will show Rock on the tron and that doesn’t happen either. Then he says that he is having fun and hopes that it fuels Rock. Then he talks about the match at WrestleMania and that they will change the game forever. This was the usual Cena promo.

WWE Champion CM Punk & Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio & The Miz. Miz & Del Rio win when Miz pins Punk. This was a good match. Wade Barrett yanked Orton off the apron. After the match Orton goes into the crowd and looks to find Barrett. Then Del Rio & Miz double team Punk with a ladder. Del Rio locks Punk in the cross arm breaker and Miz has a mic and says that they will make sure that Punk makes it to TLC because one of them will take the WWE Title. Then he says that Punk’s pipe bomb will blow up in his face and that he is done at TLC. This was good.

Vickie Guerrero & Goldust come out to present the A Lister of the year award. The choices are 1. The Muppets 2. Snooki 3. Hugh Jackman and 4. Cee-Lo Green. The winner is Snooki. Thankfully she’s not there, but she was on the tron and thanked the fans. Whatever. Snooki makes me sick!

Josh Mathews interviews Mark Henry and Henry says that Big Show hasn’t seen anything yet. Then he mentions that Cena disrespected him and that he should be worried about getting inducted into the hall of pain. This was a good promo.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal. Mahal is on the mic saying that he will have a slammy award winning match. The match doesn’t happen because Sheamus Brogue Kicks him before the bell rang. I’m not sure what this was for.

Rey Mysterio returns to present the super star of the year award. Rey says that it feels great to be back. Then he mentions that winning this award is a major honor. The choices are 1. CM Punk 2. Mark Henry 3. Randy Orton 4. The Miz 5. John Cena and 6. Alberto Del Rio. The winner is CM Punk. YES! Johnny Ace comes out and he tells the fans who he is AGAIN! Then he talks about the TLC match this Sunday. Then he says that Punk is in no condition to accept this award so he will accept it for him and he thanks the fans. This was lousy.

The show Mark Henry walking backstage and then they cut away to the 1/2/12 video.

They show the husband and son of a solider in the crowd. That was a nice moment.

John Cena vs. World Champion Mark Henry. Kane’s pyro goes off, the lights go out, his music plays and he comes out with his hair grown back and a Darth Vader like mask. Kane comes in the ring and Choke Slams Cena and stands over him and his pyro goes off again. Then he takes the mask off and he has his old mask on underneath. He stands over Cena to end the show. This was a decent match and Kane coming out at the end was cool. I liked the Darth Vader type mask he had on.

This show was just as painful as I expected it to be! There were only 4 matches in a 3 hour show! Big Show-Wade Barrett wasn’t much of a match. The 4 way was good and I liked the tag match. I also thought Cena-Henry was decent and the end was good. The rest of the show with all the slammys was total crap! They didn’t do much to hype up the TLC PPV that takes place THIS SUNDAY!!!