5-6-13 Raw results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the May 6, 2013 episode of Raw

  The show starts with John Cena coming to the ring. He says there is unrest in the WWE Universe. Everyone has questions and he will answer them by taking a page out of Daniel Bryan’s book. Was competing last week a good idea? No. Will he still face Ryback? Yes. After Ryback stared him down on the stage last week he isn’t sure what Ryback’s plans are. Then he says that Ryback is ready to do the Fandango. (This is typical Cena & it is so f’n stupid). Cena says that he is a WWE super star & is the current WWE Champion. As long as he is medically cleared his job is to get in the ring every week & do his best. He hasn’t been at 100% since 2002 but that won’t stop from defending the title. At Extreme Rules Ryback will realize that the champ is here. Out comes Vickie Guerrero. She tells Cena she’s excited he will defend the title at Extreme Rules. This PPV is going to be extreme. HHH will face Lesnar in a steel cage & Dolph will defend the world title in a triple threat ladder match. She expects the WWE Title match will be nothing less than extreme. She wouldn’t add a stipulation to the match without Cena’s & Ryback’s ok. She brings out Ryback. Vickie lets Cena pick a stipulation. Cena wants to be fair to Ryback, so how about the person who runs out of the building win. How about a whine off? Then he mimics Ryback. (Man this beyond stupid! What the F is Vince thinking?)! Cena doesn’t care what kind of match it is. All he wants is a chance to fight and to shut up the World’s largest complainer. Vickie tells Ryback she didn’t appreciate him walking out last week but he’s lucky that Cena let him pick the stipulation for their match. Ryback says Cena letting him do that was stupid. Cena shows that his foot doesn’t hurt as much as Ryback thinks. Ryback’s not fighting Cena tonight. He’s smart enough to walk away from a fight when the timing is wrong. He says it is ironic that Cena’s Achilles heel is his Achilles heel but Cena’s real Achilles heel is his pride & ego. After Extreme Rules everyone will know that Ryback Rules. In 2 weeks Cena won’t be able to answer the 10 count. Ryback picks a last ma standing match. This was a really crappy ass way to start the show! Why do they always have Cena cut these stupid promos!? Also why did they turn Ryback heel!?

Michael Cole mentions Lesnar & Heyman going into WWE HQ & a still shot.

Damien Sandow comes to the ring. He has a song for us. He sings his own version of Orton’s theme music. That was actually pretty decent.

Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow. Orton gets the pin. This wasn’t much. Sandow took a pounding. I’m not sure why they’re de pushing Sandow. Typical WWE booking.

Then as Orton walks up the stage, Big Show hits Orton with the KO punch. Referees come to check on Orton.

Chris Jericho comes to the ring. He welcomes everyone to Raw is Jericho. We know Fan "dumbo” is coming out next so he has put together a judge’s panel to critique Fandango’s performance. He's found to guys who can kick some butt & shake some booty. Naturally the other 2 judges are Tensai & Brodus Clay. Then out come Fandango & his chick (I think it’s Summer Rae).  Brodus & Tensai each give his entrance a 2 & Jericho gives it a 1. Then Fandango asks Jericho who he thinks he is to judge him? Just because he was on dancing with the stars and failed doesn’t make him an expert. Then out comes R-Truth.

R-Truth vs. Fandango. R-Truth wins by count out when Fandango walks out. Truth gave Fandango a scissors kick and then Fandango rolled out of the ring and then Truth danced. Of course all 3 guys give Truth a 10. Then Fandango walked out & got counted out. This sucked! So far this week’s show has been painful!   

They show another still shot of Lesnar & Heyman.

Time for a look back at the finish of the really good Daniel Bryan-Ryback match from Smackdown, followed by Daniel being attacked by The Shield.

Josh Mathews interviews Daniel Bryan. He asks Daniel who he’s doing. Daniel’s ok. The Shield likes to throw around the word justice, but no one is buying it. They use that word to justify 3 on 1 attacks. Tonight Daniel will prove that it will take more than a Shield ambush. He’s challenging Ryback to a rematch. Then Ryback comes in & says Daniel’s in no condition for a rematch so his answer is no. Even if Daniel were healthy he would destroy him again because Daniel is half the man he is. Then Kane comes in. He asks Ryback if he thinks that he is half the man Ryback is. Ryback says that Kane isn’t the monster he used to be. There’s only 1 monster in WWE. Ryback rules. Daniel was good here & I was ok with Kane coming in but this whole Ryback rules bit is terrible.

Alberto Del Rio vs. World Champion Dolph Ziggler. Del Rio wins by DQ. During the match Jack Swagger’s music played and he & Zeb Coulter came out. This of course distracted Del Rio because EVERY TIME someone’s music plays some one in the match has to get distracted by it! Jack & Zeb stared down Big E and then they made their way to the announce table. & Coulter put on a head set. Later in the match Del Rio got Dolph in the cross arm breaker. AJ distracted the referee & Big E yanked Dolph out of the ring & threw him into Swagger & the referee called for the bell. Then Swagger sent Big E into the ring post. Then he got a ladder out from under the ring. Ricardo climbed onto Swagger’s back & Swagger used the ladder to push Ricardo into the barricade nailed Ricardo with it. Then he got in the ring & hit Dolph with the ladder and then he hit Del Rio with it too. This was a solid match & I liked the post match brawl & Swagger using the ladder.

They show more pics of Brock & Heyman.

They show a video package focusing on WWE teaming up with Yahoo.

Backstage we see Kaitlyn, Naomi & Cameron. Apparently they have a match with AJ & the Bellas. Then Kaitlyn’s phone makes a weird noise. It’s a text of the mystery admirer. The other 2 think he’s a stalker. Then Natalya comes in & wants to know who this guy is. Then Kaitlyn reads a text. Then Natalya says Khali can go under cover & find out who the guy is. Kaitlyn questions having a 7’1 giant going undercover. Natalya says he was cop.  They walk off and then The Bellas come out from behind a curtain. This was idiotic! Who cares about this storyline & why has Natalya been put into this crap? She deserves so much better. 

The Shield comes out through the crowed. They’ll be in a 6 man tag next.

U.S. Champion Kofi Kingston & The Usos vs. The Shield. The Shield wins when Ambrose pins Kofi. This was a decent match. Kofi & The Usos got some offense in but it was no surprise that The Shield won.

They show another pic Lesnar & Heyman in WWE HQ. Then they show a pic of Triple H’s office ransacked.

Zack Ryder vs. Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro gets the pin. This was a squash. Then Cesaro gets the mic. He says that he doesn’t often ask for the mic, but when he asks for the mic he has something to say. Is this all the competition they have for him? Because if it is that’s ridiculous. He is Antonio Cesaro & he puts the W in WWE. There’s no 1 in the whole company that can hold a candle to what he can do in this ring. This was a good promo. This guy deserves much better than what they’ve been doing with him.

They show a film of Lesnar & Heyman walking into WWE HQ. We’ll hear from Heyman next.

Time to hear from Paul Heyman from a satellite. Heyman says he is here as the advocate for Brock. He & Brock took a self guide tour of WWE HQ, but rather than explain what happened, he will show the film. They show the film. Heyman says today is a beautiful day right here in Stamford, CT home of WWE HQ. “Here we go.” They walk in & they see an Extreme Rules poster with Sheamus on it. Then the tell someone that they’re headed for Triple H’s office. They get in the elevator with some guy. Heyman whistles Fandango’s music. Then they show a poster of The Rock. Heyman says there isn’t 1 Brock poster. Brock’s a multi time WWE Champion but there’s not 1 pic of him. Then they take a look in the board room. Then they walk around the halls some more & finally find Triple H’s office. There’s a Killer Kowalski pic on the wall. Brock roughs up some guy & Heyman asks him if he likes working for HHH. Then they walk into Triple H’s office. The WWE logo is as big as Triple H’s ego. Brock looks at a world title replica. Heyman says Brock will never have a title match as long as HHH is running the show. Brock sits in Triple H’s chair & Heyman continues to comment. Brock destroys a lap top and then the computer key board. Then Brock gets a sledge hammer that just happens to be on Triple H’s wall. Brock destroys Triple H’s desk with it and then continues trashing the office. He throws a TV and then knocks over the shelf. Heyman says this is the destruction that awaits Triple H at Extreme Rules. Heyman leaves his business card to let him know they were there. Back to Heyman. He says he knows a bit about the word extreme, which is why it’s ironic that he is the voice of reason when it comes to Brock. When Brock leaves a path of destruction he is always the guy that has to discourage him. Then HHH gave Heyman a pedigree on world wide TV. Heyman will no longer discourage Brock. He will encourage him by begging him to hurt Triple H in the cage. He wants Brock to exploit the chance that only an old school steel cage can provide. Brock will take HHH to the extreme. Then Brock will go further and further and further…then Triple H’s music plays & he comes to the ring. HHH looks at the Tron & says Heyman might wanna get the guy who set up his mic to fix his hair. Then he asks Heyman if he ever opens his mouth without a bunch of crap falling out of it. HHH is the guy who tore through the attitude era with an iron fist. He’s also the guy that knocked Brock out cold at Mania. Hunter isn’t buying that on a Monday Heyman & Brock decided to go to WWE HQ because they thought Hunter was there. Everyone knows HHH is at Raw. HHH says he has 2 offices. The 1 that was torn up & the other 1 he is standing in right now. This office is more like his home. This is where he grew up & became a man. Something Brock never became. If Brock has something to say to HHH then he should be a man & say it to his face. HHH isn’t hard to find. If Brock’s thinking he will walk into this office & do what he did to his other 1, that won’t happen because in this office we fight back. This was really good. The whole film of Brock & Heyman walking through the halls of WWE HQ was cool. Heyman’s comments were really entertaining & Brock trashing Triple H’s office was a good scene. I also liked Triple H coming to the ring & saying that the ring is other office & the, “In this office we fight back” line was cool too.

Time for the Total Divas video.

Divas Champion Kaitlyn, Naomi & Cameron vs. AJ Lee & The Bellas. Kaitlyn, Naomi & Cameron win when Kaitlyn pins AJ. This was typical Divas match. Not much to it. AJ went to tag The Bellas & they got off the apron. Then Kaitlyn gave AJ a spear & got the pin.

Mark Henry comes to the ring. In just a couple minutes Sheamus will come out & act real tough. He will beat his chest & do the Celtic pose. That’s where the problem is. Sheamus will be acting. Henry doesn’t have to act tough because he is tough. He will remind everyone what happens when Sheamus meets the World’s strongest man. They show Henry attacking Sheamus from last month on Smackdown, then from 3 weeks ago on Raw. Henry says if Sheamus has any pride he will face Henry at Extreme Rules. It’s been a long time since Henry’s got extreme but he promises people will remember this match for the rest of existence. He has a special wing…Then out comes Sheamus. He says he came out because Henry left out half the videos. Sheamus shows what he’s done. They show the tug of war from last Monday and then the arm wrestling challenge from Smackdown. Henry says Sheamus is full of jokes but he’d better be serious at Extreme Rules. Sheamus says he’s a relaxed kind of guy but he’s all business when the bell rings. At Extreme Rules his business is Henry. Henry challenges him to face him right now. They face off and then out comes Wade Barrett. Break time. This was solid. Henry’s promo was good & Sheamus wasn’t totally corny here. I also liked that Henry called the fans puppets for constantly saying what.

Back from break & Mark Henry is on commentary.

Sheamus vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett. Sheamus gets the pin. This was decent. During the match Sheamus threw Barrett into Henry, knocking Mark down. Then when Mark got up Sheamus Brogue Kicked him. Then trainers checked on Henry. After the match Henry gets in the ring & whips Sheamus with a belt. Henry knocks him out of the ring and then continues beating him with the belt. Mark then gives Sheamus the World’s strongest slam. Then he asks, “How funny is that?” This was solid. They made Henry look like more of the monster that he’s been. Too bad Barrett was a background player here though.

They announce that Chris Jericho will face Fandango in a dance off next week. God help me!

WWE Tag Team Champion Kane vs. Ryback. Ryback gets the pin. This was ok. Then The Shield’s music hits & they come out through the crowd. Then Daniel Bryan hits the ring & Ryback bails. Cue Cena’s music & he storms to the ring. The Shield hops over the barricade and get in the ring, but Ryback comes in with a chair. Daniel dives onto Ambrose & Rollins outside the ring. Cena gets Reigns on his shoulders for an AA but then Ryback hits Cena with the chair & stands over him to end the show.

I thought this was a mixed bag of a show overall. The start of the show was painfully terrible, the Kane-Ryback match was ok but the post match brawl could’ve been better. I loved the video of Heyman & Lesnar in the WWE HQ & Triple H’s promo. That was the best part of this week’s Raw. The Sheamus-Mark Henry segment was solid too. Sheamus wasn’t totally corny here. The Sheamus-Barrett match was decent but Barrett was the background player here. I also liked Henry hitting Sheamus with the belt and giving him the World’s strongest slam on the floor. R-Truth-Fandango wasn’t much of a match. This was all about Jericho continuing to annoy Fandango. The whole thing with Jericho, Brodus & Tensai being ringside judges was idiotic. Ryder-Cesaro was a squash but Cesaro cut a solid promo afterwards. The 6 man tag was decent too. Kofi got some good offense in before The Shield won. The backstage bit with AJ, Naomi, Cameron, Natalya & Khali was terrible, the 6 divas tag wasn’t much; Orton-Sandow wasn’t much either. This was mostly Orton giving Sandow a pounding, though I did like Sandow’s version of Orton’s theme music. Del Rio-Ziggler was solid too & I was ok with the post match brawl. On the whole I thought this week’s show was hit & miss.