5-17-13 Smackdown results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the May 17, 2013 episode of Smackdown

The show starts with Miz TV. He welcomes everyone to the return of the most must see talk show in WWE history. Tonight his 2 guests are bitter rivals that will go 1 on 1 this Sunday at Extreme Rules. Extreme Rules will be very memorable but Miz wants to make tonight memorable too. Miz brings out Orton first and then Big Show. Miz says Orton & Big Show will collide in an extreme rules match, which means anything goes (Duh). Miz says that Orton & Big Show have had issues since WrestleMania and that makes this match 1 of the most anticipated at Extreme Rules. Big Show beat Tensai last week but right after that the viper struck. They reshow Big Show giving Tensai the KO punch that was followed by Orton coming in & giving Big Show an RKO. Then Miz tells Big Show that Orton left him lying in the middle of the ring from an RKO. Is this a preview of what’s going to happen at Extreme Rules? Big Show says that he would expect a weasel like Miz to make a statement like that. The only way that Orton was able to hit him with an RKO was from behind like the snake in the grass that Orton is. He attacked Big Show at WrestleMania & he attacked Big Show in his match against Tensai. At Extreme Rules there are no rules. Big Show can use anything that he wants to to rip Orton apart. Big Show doesn’t need weapons like Orton does. He has his weapons attached to the ends of his wrists. So in Orton’s home town St. Louis the last thing that people are gonna remember is that rather than an RKO there will be a TKO. Orton says that’s a very interesting & entertaining story. There’s 1 thing though, the ending is inaccurate. This Sunday Extreme Rules does take place in St. Louis, Orton’s home town. If Big Show thinks for 1 second that Orton will let him beat him in his home town, let Show knock him out in front of his friends, family & his city, not a chance. Orton then says that the reason why he & Big Show are at each other’s throats is because Orton made the mistake of trusting him. Big Show tells Orton to trust when he says that the only thing anyone will remember about Sunday in his home town is how the viper struck down the giant. If Big Show isn’t careful he just might not get back up. Out come Jack Swagger & Zeb Coulter. Zeb says, “Excuse me for breaking up this little therapy session” & says that Orton & Big Show both have it wrong. Zeb agrees that Sunday night will be a memorable night but it won’t be because of anything Orton & Show do. It will be because Jack Swagger is gonna make Alberto Del Rio say 2 words, I quit. If Del Rio prefers then he can say it in his native tongue. Then Zeb says there will be no more sneaking from behind to attack Jack Swagger. Sunday night people are gonna remember that will be the night that Jack Swagger’s America becomes a reality & he emerges as the number 1 contender for the world title. If you listen closely you’re gonna thousands of real Americans rising to their feet & saying in unison, “We the People.” Then out come Del Rio & Ricardo. Del Rio tells Zeb to shut up. Everyone’s tired of hearing Zeb talk, so Del Rio will make this clear to him & everyone. The only thing people will remember this Sunday is, then Ricardo says, “Alberto Del Rio” and then Del Rio says becoming the number 1 contender because this Sunday he will make Swagger say I quit. As for Zeb, Del Rio will make sure that he goes back to wherever he came from so that he never ever sneaks into Del Rio’s business again. Then out comes Mark Henry. Henry hears them all taking about what’s gonna be remembered on Sunday. What will be remembered is Mark Henry the World’s strongest man setting records by pulling semis. What people will also remember is Henry throwing, dragging & beating Sheamus like no one who has ever beaten him in his life. Then Henry gets in the ring & says that what people will remember is that he is the strongest man in the world because that’s what he does. Then out comes Sheamus. He says that everyone is talking about how their matches at Extreme Rules will be the most memorable. Then Sheamus tells “lumpy” that their match at Extreme rules will easily be the most memorable, especially when he leaves Henry’s giant carcass battered & bruised with welts & marks in the middle of that ring. Then of course Sheamus says why wait till Sunday to create a memory? He takes out a strap & says they can show a preview of their match right now. Sheamus gets in the ring & clears the ring of the heels with his strap. This was the same long winded segment that Smackdown always starts with except that this time Teddy Long didn’t come out & say that the faces will meet the heels in a 6 man tag in tonight’s main event, but you know that’s going to happen anyway.

Back to the show & Teddy Long comes out. He doesn’t know about all the fans but after what he saw just happen he is ready for Extreme Rules. So in tonight’s main event Big Show will team up with Jack Swagger & Mark Henry & they will face Del Rio, Orton & Sheamus. There it is. I knew Long was gonna make a 6 man since that’s what always happens every time Smackdown starts with a long winded promo with a number of guys in the ring. Only this time Long came out after the segment to announce the match.

The Shield come out through the crowed. Rollins & Reigns will be in a tag match next. They’ll be facing The Usos.

The Usos vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns. Rollins & Reigns win when Reigns pins Jimmy. This was a short but decent match & it was no surprise that Rollins & Reigns won. Afterwards The Shield stomps on Jimmy but then Kofi Kingston comes out. Of course The Shield get the upper hand & toss Kofi out of the ring. Then as The Shield were going to give Jimmy (I think that’s who it was) the triple power bomb, Kofi gets back in the ring with a chair & runs The Shield off. I have mixed feeling about this. I liked that Kofi was intense here but having The Shield run off made them look a bit weak.

Backstage Teddy Long tells The Miz that Miz sure knows how to stir the pot & most of all they got themselves 1 heck of a main event. He welcomes Miz back to Smackdown & says he’s been missed. Miz thanks Teddy and then says that the way things broke down out there Miz feels like he never left. Then Damien Sandow comes in. He has a thought. He says that we would all be better off if Miz had never returned, so that this way we can all bask in the glory of a host with a sense of taste & direction as opposed to a card carrying ignoramus who’s actions incited a near riot this evening. He proposes this to Theodore, The Damien Sandow Show. Miz says really. Then Sandow says that in his benevolence he has decided to give Long the first opportunity to help him produce it. “You’re welcome.” Long will take that under consideration but as for tonight Sandow need to show Long what he can do out there in that ring against The Miz. Then Long throws out a you’re welcome. Sandow walks out in disgust. This was a decent backstage segment.

Time for a look back at The Shield giving Cena the triple power bomb followed by Ryback hitting Cena in the injured ankle with a chair.

Tons of Funks vs. The Primetime Players. Tons of Funk win when Brodus pins Darren. This was mostly a squash.

Chris Jericho vs. Antonio Cesaro. Jericho wins by submission. This was a really good back & forth match and easily the best Cesaro’s had in a while. Afterwards Fandango’s music plays & Summer Rae comes out on the stage and then Fandango comes in the ring & goes after Jericho from behind but Jericho catches him & pounds on him. Then Cesaro gets up but Jericho knocks him back down & Fandango bails. Then Jericho gives Cesaro a code breaker. Who’d Cesaro piss off to get the jobber treatment!?

Cody Rhodes is on commentary.

The Miz vs. Damien Sandow. Miz wins by submission. During the match Cody took the mic told the fans that they need to stand up & show some respect for Sandow. Then Cody got on the apron but Miz punched him off. Then Sandow went for a back drop but Miz rolled out of that and then got Sandow in the figure 4 for the win. This was a solid match but Sandow is also being booked as a jobber. He deserves better.

They show a backstage bit with Natalya & Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn says that Naomi & Cameron think this admirer bit is creepy. Natalya doesn’t think so, she thinks it’s romantic & sweet. Then some guy comes win with flowers & a set of gloves for Kaitlyn. Natalya mentions how gorgeous the flowers are while Kaitlyn digs the gloves. This whole unknown admirer story is meaningless.

Divas Champion Kaitlyn vs. Aksana. Kaitlyn gets the pin. This was ok. It was a typical Divas match. Not much to it.

Time for a video package on the Triple H-Brock Lesnar feud. Then we have a look back at the Triple H-Brock Lesnar segment from the end of Raw.

Alberto Del Rio, Randy Orton & Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger, Big Show & Mark Henry. Del Rio, Orton & Sheamus win when Orton pins Swagger. This was a good match. The faces pose in the ring to end the show.

I thought this was a decent show overall. The opening Miz TV segment was the usual long winded promo segment that usually starts Smackdown & Teddy Long announcing the 6 man tag was predictable. I did like the 6 man tag however. I thought there was a lot of back & forth action here. Jericho-Cesaro was really good but it’s such a shame that Cesaro is being buried. Fandango sneaking up on Jericho only for Jericho to get the upper hand was ok too. The Long-Miz-Sandow backstage segment was ok too. I thought Sandow mentioning having his own talk show was kinda comical. The Miz-Sandow match was solid also but like Cesaro he too is being buried. I have no idea why. I thought Cody getting on the mic & telling the fans to show respect for Sandow was good too. Kaitlyn-Aksana was your typical Divas match, there wasn’t much to it. The Kaitlyn-Natalya bit was weak too. This whole angle with Kaitlyn having an unknown admirer is meaningless. Tons of Funk-Prime Time Players was mostly a squash, The Usos vs. Rollins & Reigns was short but decent & it was no surprise that Reigns & Rollins won. So on the whole I was ok with this week’s show & they did an ok job with final build to the Extreme Rules PPV.