1-7-13 Raw results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the January 7, 2013 episode of Raw

The show starts with John Cena coming to the ring. He says this is a special night. Tonight in a TLC match with the WWE Title on the line Punk faces Ryback. But there’s more. You can feel the excitement. It’s like you can feel the electricity. The captain of Team Bring It is here. Tonight we welcome back The Rock. That means we’re on the road to WrestleMania. In less than 3 weeks will the Royal Rumble. He said that last week he is entering the match and he meant it. Then out come Dolph, AJ & Big E Langston. Dolph says that the fans will remember the hottest star in WWE today. Dolph Ziggler. AJ mentions that Cena toyed with her emotions but that wasn’t enough for him. She can’t believe she gave up her job for Cena. Cena is a pathetic small man. Cena says AJ’s sweet innocent self just made her first 6^th grade wiener joke. AJ can’t believe she had feelings for Cena. Cena continues to be his usual hokey self. Then he goes to quote some poet. Dolph says every time someone beats Cena, Cena laughs it off and hopes they go away. Dolph says that he is entering the rumble too. Cena can’t hide from Dolph now. He & 28 guys will be in there to make sure Cena doesn’t win. Cena continues to be the wise cracking joke machine. He says that AJ’s craziness might be rubbing off on Dolph. Cena says that he & Dolph should fight right here right now. Big E says that Dolph isn’t Cena’s only problem. Big E says it’s on. Cena tells Dolph to get to the ring and take his butt whipping right now. Dolph & Big E have words for a bit. Then Dolph’s music hits again and he, AJ & Big E head to the ring. This was terrible. I don’t get why they continue to have Cena be this wise cracking joke machine. That wiener joke was REALLY STUPID! Also why is Dolph entering the Rumble when he has the Money in the Bank briefcase that he can cash in at anytime? This is idiotic!

John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler. Cena gets the pin. The referee sent Big E & AJ to the back after AJ slapped Cena. Later in the match the referee got knocked out. Then Cena got Dolph in the STF. Then out came Big E & he gave Cena his finisher and placed Dolph’s arm over Cena’s chest. Then a second referee came to the ring but Cena kicked out at 2. Then Cena hit the AA for the pin. This was a really good back and forth match.

Kaitlyn vs. Divas Champion Eve Torres for the Title. Kaitlyn wins by count out when Eve escapes through the crowd. This was a solid match but I wasn’t into the finish.

Santino Marella is backstage talking to Ricky Steamboat. Santino says the Steamboat-Savage match from Mania 3 was one of his favorite matches. Steamboat says that was 1 of his favorites also. (That in my mind is still the greatest match in WrestleMania history!) Then Wade Barrett comes in and says no that he’s IC Champion the title has meaning again. He says Steamboat is an old man blowing smoke. Steamboat says he will be at ringside for Santino’s match with Wade Barrett. Barrett will find out how much smoke he can blow. This was a decent bit.

Matt Striker is with Randy Orton. Orton says he intends on winning the rumble. Then in come 3MB. Heath says they’ve entered the rumble too. They’ll rock n’ roll to victory and 1 of them will headline WrestleMania. Orton then asks which 1 of them he will face tonight. Heath says he can have his choice. Orton tells Heath that after he gets through with him, Slater might be playing a harp. This was ok.

WWE Tag Team Champions Kane & Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow. Cody & Sandow win when Cody pins Daniel. This was a good match. I’m not sure why it was non title, but now that they went over that champs again it looks they’ll be getting another shot at the titles.

Randy Orton vs. Heath Slater. Orton gets the pin. This was a decent match. Afterwards Drew & Jinder attack Orton but Orton gives them both an RKO.

Santino Marella vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett. Barrett gets the pin. This was a decent, but short match. Afterwards Barrett goes for Steamboat, but Steamboat catches him and Barrett walks out.

Matt Striker is with Sheamus. He mentions that Sheamus won the rumble last year and won the World Title in 18 seconds. Can he do it again? Sheamus doubts it. He knows he can win the rumble and the World Title but he’s not sure if he can win in 18 seconds. Then in come 3MB. Sheamus says that Orton kicked their “arses”. Slater says Orton got lucky. Sheamus says they should have a sing along in the ring. Whoever is left standing after a Brogue Kick has to sing Danny Boy. This was corny. I don’t know why they have Sheamus act like Cena with these lame jokes.

Miz is on commentary for the next match.

Great Khali vs. U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro gets the pin. This wasn’t much but Cesaro lifting up Khali for the Neutralizer was impressive. Then Cesaro looks at Miz as he holds the title over his head. Miz sarcastically applauds him.

Paul Heyman is backstage on his cell phone. Then Brad Maddox comes by. Heyman tells him that he doesn’t want him in his life. Maddox asks who Heyman thinks he is. Then he says that he can be of service to Heyman & Punk. He has his referee shirt and was going to suggest to Vickie that he be the referee for the Ryback-Punk TLC match. Heyman says he doesn’t want Maddox talking to Vickie and tells Maddox to slither back under whatever rock he came from. This was pointless & I wasn’t into the line where Maddox said he was going to suggest to Vickie he be the referee WHEN THERE’S A CAMERA RIGHT THERE! Brad Maddox’s character isn’t working for me.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal. Sheamus gets the pin. This was ok. Sheamus dominated most of this. He fought off Drew & Heath during the match too.

Ryback vs. WWE Champion CM Punk in a TLC match for the title. Punk wins to retain the Title. As Ryback was about to get the title the lights went out. When they came back on The Shield were on the ladder with Ryback. Ryback fought them off but they got upper hand. They gave Ryback the triple power bombed through a table that was on the steel steps. That was sick. Then Punk struggled up the ladder and got the belt. This was a great back and forth match.

Punk & Heyman are backstage. Matt Striker comes in. Punk says he has nothing to do with Brad Maddox, or The Shield. Punk then says that before Rock entertains the millions of his fans, he will drop another pipe bomb. This was good.

Backstage Daniel Bryan has an ice pack on his leg. Kane asks Daniel Bryan how his leg feels. They blame each other for losing to Cody & Sandow. They go back and forth with the yes-no bit. Then Vickie comes in and says that next week they will have a follow up evaluation from Dr. Shelby. Kane says Shelby is a monster. Daniel says Shelby is a nerd. They go back and forth with that. Then Kane says Shelby’s a nerd & Daniel says Shelby’s a monster. Then they go back and forth with the roles reversed. This was ok but I wasn’t really into Vickie saying that Dr. Shelby will be back next week.

Kofi Kingston vs. World Champion Big Show. Big Show gets the pin. This was a squash.

CM Punk & Paul Heyman come to the ring. Punk says the time has come to tell the fans something very personal. He hears what everybody says and for the past year and a half the term pipe bomb has been misused. No one knows what it means. A pipe bomb is the truth and what the fans lack. The perception of him is a disgruntled guy who then became the voice of the voiceless. Then he talked about how he didn’t get respect and turned his back on the fans. Punk says that’s he could’ve left, but made a conscious decision. He sold out according to the fans but he created a rebel. The truth about WWE is it doesn’t matter if you’re the best wrestler, talker, etc. There is a glass ceiling that no one is allowed to break. The more fans cheer for a guy the bigger push he gets. He mentions Daniel Bryan & Brodus Clay as 2 examples. Then he mentions that “Little Jimmy” is mentioned and not Tyson Kidd. Punk says the fans can’t stomach anything interesting. Punk says there’re there in the circus to entertain the fans. Punk says he has become the most successful WWE Champion of all time. Not just the modern era. If he competed in Samatino’s era he would’ve been champion for 40 years because defending the title once a month is easy. Hulk Hogan was never in a TLC match. He had it easy. 1 year equals 30 of Bruno’s & Hogan’s. Punk is successful not because of the fans but in spite of them. He’s the most honest man in this company. Everyone else does their act for the fans. Punk watched Piper smash a coconut over Snuka’s head. He says there’s good guys and bad guys in this world and he is bad man and he can freely admit it. Flair can come out and say he did it for the fans. HBK can lose his smile but then say he did it for the fans to. He says the same about Edge. He says they’re dishonest or weak. Punk is neither of those. He is the best in the world. 2 types of people on this earth. Those meant to be in the spotlight and those who pay to see people in the spotlight. Punk says he has never done this for the fans. There are super stars and there are no bodies. Punk is a superstar. Punk is then told to end his promo because they need to go to break. Punk says they don’t go to break when they want to, the go to break when the champ does. Punk then says that the fans do not matter and what they want doesn’t matter either. Then they go to break. This was a really good promo. Punk is tremendous on the mic. 

Back to the show and Punk says he is on the first Raw of 2013 as WWE Champion and he will be on the first Raw of 2014 as champion. Punk says The Rock is back but he won’t let him tear down everything Punk’s gained. Punk says when he beat Del Rio he beat the system. Any of the guys he beat he has beaten the fans and stomped them out. He will do the same to The Rock. The fans are losers and do not get to win. Cue If ya smell and out comes The Rock. Rock says he wanted to wait till he heard everything Punk had to say. Now he knows that Punk is delusional. Punk keeps mentioning that he’s been champion for 414 days. Rock says the real number that haunts Punk’s dreams is 20 because in 20 days he will defend the title against The Rock and everyone knows that means time’s up. Rock mentions that Punk wanted a revolution and rejected the people when he became champion, but the people rejected him. Rock says that Punk calls himself the voice of the voiceless but there’s no such thing in WWE. The fans use their voices every night and they no that something special is getting ready to happen right now. They’ll chant something that will follow Punk for the rest of his life. In 3 seconds they will chant cookie puss and the fans chant that. Punk says that Rock got the fans chanting about ice cream the same way he did a year and a half ago. Rock & the fans still don’t get to win. Rock says the fans already won. Rock woke up at 4 am, had pancakes, went to the gym then drove through Alligator ally so that he can say, “Finally The Rock has come back to Tampa.” Rock says he is back to entertain the fans, to stop Punk and after 10 long years Rock is back to win the WWE Title. Rock has watched every Monday and watch Punk lying. Rock then says that Punk might be straight edge but he looks like Popeye on crack (that was funny). Rock says Punk has 1 of the most creative minds in WWE history. He became champion and also became the biggest jerk the world has ever scene. Rock then says that the fans have always mattered. Punk is the guy who doesn’t matter. Punk says he matters and Rock says it doesn’t matter. Rock says there is no way Punk will stop him from becoming WWE Champion. Punk says he’s glad Rock is back. He doesn’t care what Rock’s schedule is. He will still kick Rock’s ass every time he graces us with his presence. Punk says Rock can do his tire shtick, but he wants Rock to know that Punk is the best guy Rock will have ever stepped in the ring with. Punk says Rock’s insults are all games. Come the rumble when they step in the ring, Rock’s arms are too short to box with God. Rock says he knows for a fact Punk is going 1 on 1 with the great one. Rock knows how tough Punk is. He hasn’t forgotten when Punk gave him the GTS. Rock wants Punk to think about the next 20 days, look in the mirror and strip naked. He tells Punk to look at his backside and see if there isn’t a spot on Punk’s body covered in tattoos. Rock then does more of his spiel and says that he will kick Punk’s ass at the rumble. Then he gives Punk a Rock Bottom. Punk stands by the ramp with the belt as Rock stands in the ring and stares down Punk to end the show. This was tremendous! Both Rock & Punk were great with their promos! I’m really looking forward to their title match at the Royal Rumble.

I thought this was a really good first Raw for 2013. The opening segment with Cena, Dolph, Big E & AJ was terrible but the Cena-Dolph match was really good. The Ryback-Punk TLC match was great and so was the Rock-Punk segment at the end of the show! I thought most of the matches on the show were solid to good too. Kane & Daniel vs. Cody & Sandow was good too. Kaitlyn-Eve was decent too but I wasn’t a fan of the finish. Khali-Cesaro wasn’t much but seeing Cesaro lift Khali up for thee Neutralizer was impressive. Orton-Slater was decent too. Sheamus-Jinder was ok also. I wasn’t into Sheamus making the corny jokes with 3MB however. The Steamboat-Santino-Barrett bit was decent too. I liked that they brought up the Steamboat-Savage match from WrestleMania 3. Santino-Barrett was decent but short. I was fine with the Steamboat-Barrett stare down also. Kofi-Big Show was a squash. The Kane-Daniel Bryan backstage segment was the usual stuff we get from those guys. Vickie mentioning that Dr. Shelby will be back next week made me cringe. Heyman telling Brad Maddox to go slither back under whatever rock he came out from under was decent too. I’m not really into the Brad Maddox character. Overall though I thought the first Raw for 2013 was entertaining.