1-31-13 Impact results and thoughts

Coverage and thoughts on the January 31, 2013 taped episode of Impact

The show starts with Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian coming to the ring wearing kilts & they have their faces painted. Kazarian says that the international incident are here for the fans’ viewing pleasure. It’s throw back Thursday & they’re throwing it back to the 13^th century. They pay homage to the true UK warriors, the Scotts. Kazarian says Daniels should be World Champion & is the man who will be king. Daniels hears the fans booing. He knows they’re disappointed Jeff Hardy’s still world champion. They are too but they had no idea that Jeff’s face paint was toxic. If it weren’t for Kazarian & his epi pen he wouldn’t be here tonight. When he finally becomes king of this company he promises to defend the title, even against the English because there’s nothing easier than beating the English. He gives the fans permission to worship them now. Then Magnus makes his return. He has his own theory on why Daniels isn’t champion. It might be because Jeff Hardy beat him like he owed him money in the middle of the ring 1-2-3. Daniels might be a grown man who uses strange words. He calls them disrespectful Muppets & says that they need a good thrashing. If they feel like fighting an Englishman they can fight him. Daniels says as they in this arm pit of a country, in for a penny in for a pound. Then they double team Magnus. Magnus makes the come back & tosses them out of he ring. Then Magnus says it’s an honor to get between the ropes and do what the fans pay to see them do. That was taken from him by Aces & 8s.  Since this is open fight night he calls out Devon. Devon comes out. Break time. This was a good way to begin the show. Daniels & Kazarian were good like usual & Magnus cut a good promo too. Of course the fans popped huge for Magnus since they’re in Manchester.

Back from break. Magnus vs. TV Champion Devon. Magnus wins by DQ Doc & Mike Knox come out but Magnus knocks them off the apron & he poses as Aces & 8s retreat. The match was good & the finish was ok.

They show a Joseph Park video package.

Ray, Sting & Brooke are backstage. Ray says he’s texted Hulk and hasn’t heard from him. Sting says he heard from Hulk and he said he will be there. Brooke says that she doesn’t even no what’s happening & then she tries to try using her phone. Whatever. This was weak. This storyline really doesn’t work for me.

Joseph Park comes to the ring. He says how lively the fans are. Then he says after a week of picking who to call out it’s been a tough decision. Before he can say who he will be calling out, Robbie E & Robbie T show up. Robbie E says this must be a joke. He tells Joseph the last thing he is is a wrestler “bro.” He’s just a hamster like all the UK fans. He says that again and Robbie T glares at him. E says T is the exception because he lives in America & is basically an American. Robbie E says Joseph should fight him. Joseph says he’s on.

Joseph Park vs. Robbie E. Joseph gets the pin. This was solid.

Hulk Hogan is in the arena on his cell phone.

Austin Aries & Bobby Roode come to the ring. Aries says the 2 most valuable members of the Impact roster continue to be robbed. But now they’re going to user in a new era. They will collect all the gold. The Knockouts Title, The TV Title, Aries will take the World Title. Aries says they’ll start with the tag titles since they’re the easiest belts to challenge for. Roode says Hernandez & Chavo are a bunch of wankers like the fans. Then out come Hernandez & Chavo. Chavo asks if they’re crazy. Last time he checked Aries & Roode weren’t a team. Chavo says to get a tag title shot they have to be a tag team. Aries says that he & Roode are a team and that Roode beat Hernandez fair and square. Chavo says since it is open fight night why don’t they fight tonight. Aries accepts & if he wins, then he & Roode get to challenge Hernandez & Chavo for the tag titles.

TNA World Tag Team Champion Chavo Guerrero, Jr. vs. Austin Aries. Aries gets the pin. This was a solid match too. Chavo hit the frog splash on Aries and then Roode got in the ring. Hernandez went after him and Hebner got tied up with Hernandez. Then Aries hit a kick on Chavo in the corner & followed that up with a brain buster for the win.

Back to Ray & Brooke backstage. Brooke says Hulk is there.

Kurt Angle is backstage with Samoa Joe, Wes Briscoe & Garrett Bischoff. Angle says he can’t believe Anderson is part of Aces & 8s. Joe says there will be no interference from Aces & 8s. Then he tells Wes & Garrett they don’t need their help. Angle says Joe’s just being Joe but he’s the kind of guy he needs. I’m tried of these segments.

Time to show the video package recapping the Hulk-Ray-Brooke-Aces & 8s storyline.

Bully Ray & Brooke Hogan come out. Ray says it’s been a rough couple of weeks for him & Brooke. He loves Brooke and its his love for her that got him suspended by her dad. Then he calls Hulk family & he says that they have a common enemy in Aces & 8s. Ray needs Hulk to lift his suspension. Brooke, Ray & the fans haven’t managed to do it but there’s 1 guy who can & that’s Sting. Out comes Sting. He says it feels good to be back in the UK. He tells Ray that he doesn’t have the stroke to pull Hulk out there but the fans do. He tells them to chant Hogan and they do. Sting continues to lead the fans in a Hogan chant & out comes The Hulkster. Ray holds the ropes open for the Hulkster. Then Sting says they got a war zone going with Aces & 8s. Sting can’t think of a better place than to make things right, right here, right now. Hulk says that he did the right thing when he walked Brooke down the aisle. Then he says that he will to the right thing again. He lifts Ray’s suspension. Then Hulk says that next week Sting & Ray (his new son in law) will face Aces & 8s in a tables match. Then Hulk & Ray shake hands. This was hokey. I’m really tired of this whole bit with Hulk, Brooke & Ray. Now they finally buried the hatchet & Ray & Sting will face 2 Aces & 8 guys next week. We’ll see how that match is.

Dixie Carter announces that Impact will be taped on the road starting March 14. That taping will be in Chicago. She thanks the fans for making Impact Wrestling a success.

Velvet Sky comes to the ring. She has something she has to get off her chest. Tonight’s a special night for her. Because it’s open fight night she can call out the 2 reasons why she’s not Knockouts Champion. She tells Tara & Jessie to come to the ring. They come out. Velvet says it’s not a handicap match. While they were drinking their protein shakes she got herself a partner. He drinks, but not protein shakes. James Storm comes to the ring.

Velvet Sky & James Storm vs. Knockouts Champion Tara & Jessie. Velvet & Storm win when Velvet pins Tara. This was a decent match.

Time for an update on Jeff Hardy. Tenay says Jeff had an MRI on his knee and there will be more details on Jeff’s injury next week.

Hulk & Brooke are outside the arena. Hulk says Ray isn’t really a bad guy. The way he fought for him & Brooke, he’s ok in Hulk’s book. No matter what happens they’re all in this together. He figured he’d give his “son in law” a wedding present by having him team with Sting to face Aces & 8s (Devon & Doc).

They show clips of the Kurt Angle-Ken Anderson steel cage match from Lockdown 2010. That was a great match.

Ken Anderson says Aces & 8s have showed him more brother hood than TNA has the past 2 and a half years he’s been there. He’s ready for Kurt Angle in the cage. Angle isn’t leaving the way he comes in.

Cut to backstage we see that Samoa Joe who has been attacked. Angle says that his match is up next & tells Wes & Garrett to get a doctor.

Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson in a steel cage match. Angle wins by submission. This was a really good match. Then a masked Aces & 8s guy climbs inside the cage. Wes Briscoe unlocks the cage door to get in. Then the masked guy reveals himself to be (no surprise) Garrett Bischoff. Angle goes after Garret and then Wes Briscoe but he clips Angle’s knee from behind. Then they double team him. This ends the show. SO Wes & Garrett finally revealed themselves to be Aces & 8 guys. I’m not sure why Garrett took his mask off since the masks are supposed to have a big meaning. I also don’t get why Ken Anderson, Web Briscoe & Taz revealed themselves to be part of this stable without ever having masks at all, or why Devon, Mike Knox & Doc are still there after they lost their masks. The match was good & I knew the heel turns from Wes & Garrett were coming. (Note: This part of the show was taped before the opening).

I thought this was a decent show overall. The Daniels & Kazarian promo that started the show was good. Magnus was really good too here. The Magnus-Devon match was good too. They were good on the mic like always. The Kurt Angle-Ken Anderson cage match was really good. The Wes & Garrett heel turns I knew were coming & that wasn’t really much. The Aries & Roode promo was good too & Chavo-Hernandez was solid. The mixed tag match was decent too. The in ring bit with Hulk, Brooke, Ray & Sting was typical Hogan nonsense. The Joseph Park segment with Robbies E & T was decent and the Park-Robbie match was also solid. So overall I thought this was a decent to solid show.